He stepped towards me, smiling.
And I didn’t realise what was happening until it was too late.
His actual Wolverine hands rested on my actual human shoulders. His actual eyes (sparkly, clear) looked at mine (grey, non-descript), and then in happened.
He leaned in and his actual lips hit my actual cheek.
Did I graciously accept the peck, laugh delicately and silently thank myself for daubing the Chanel No 5 behind my earlobes before leaving the house that morning?
No. NO. NOT EVEN CLOSE.
I was wearing a pirate hat. I had a plastic hook for hand. My mouth gaped open like a trout, I couldn’t remember if I’d even applied deodorant and I wished, SO badly, that I had washed my hair that morning. Or the one before.
Because I’ll probably only ever get to interview Hugh Jackman once in my life. And this is what he looks like: TIMES A HUNDRED IN REAL LIFE:
I got to sit down with Hugh for a chat about his latest movie, PAN. A soaring, fantasy kids film in which he is unrecognisable as the evil villain; the pirate Blackbeard.
Before you watch me doing that, let’s all take a moment to remember what happened the last time I interviewed a celebrity about their movie. An interview so cringe-worthy, it went global:
But back to Hugh.
Note to everyone: At no point in the film does he take his shirt off, pour water over himself or pash Nicole Kidman in the rain.
Nope, he’s more like this: TERRIFYING:
In this film, he shaved his head, grew a foul goatee thing, wore rotten false teeth and squeezed into man spanx.
So was the role a pointed strategy to stop being known as Hollywood’s nice guy and a bit of a looker? Was it purposeful: expand the repertoire? Prove he can’t be typecast?
It worked, he’s incredible in this role. To the point where I was 30 minutes into the film, waiting for him to appear….when it dawned on me that he’d been there THE WHOLE TIME.
We had a great chat about what it was like being so evil, I told him to say hi to his wife (we love her almost as much as him), and we had a rather good chat about his family life and how to get the kids to pack the dishwasher.
Watch the full interview here. (Post continues after video)
And you know what? I’m really sorry everyone, but this is a fact: he is impossibly good looking. And as soon as I sat down he acted like we were mates from way back. And there were so many times in the interview where he would be chatting away and I had to try REALLY HARD not to let my mind wander off into the middle distance and just bask in the Hugh.
Because what everyone says about him is true. He radiates goodness. He is Australia’s greatest export. He’s talented as all get out. And he is the nicest man to walk the earth and peck my cheek.
PAN is in cinemas September 24, 2015