I would like to bring something of critically low importance to your attention.
You see, we have been watching Sophie Monk search for love for a month now. We’ve watched her date some very attractive (g’day, Apollo) and misogynistic (that’s you, Sam) men. We’ve cried with joy every time James’ cherubic face appeared on screen.
Anyway, we’re basically as emotionally invested in Sophie’s love life as she is, which allows me to make one rather huge, unqualified statement: The man for Sophie Monk is not on The Bachelorette.
He’s out in the normal world, living his normal life, being all normal and stuff.
Sophie Monk’s perfect man is right here:
Ladies, gentlemen, Sasha Mielczarek – AKA the winner of Sam Frost’s season of The Bachelorette – is the man of our Bachelorette’s dreams.
(For those of you who don’t anchor your lives to a reality TV show about “finding love/getting more Instagram followers”, relax… Sam and Sasha broke up like a year ago. I wouldn’t endorse cheating. I’m not that pathetic.)
I digress. Back to Sophie and Sasha and our very important weekend analysis.
Sophie Monk has made it very clear that she’s looking for a “normal Aussie bloke”. Someone who isn’t a part of her regular celebrity circle. Who is down to Earth and friendly. Who isn’t egotistical. Who is good with ~manly stuff~ like replacing tires and making flat pack wardrobes and lighting fires (Channel 10 basically told us that only humans with dongs can do these things). Someone who is decent and kind and similar to her in age. Someone who supports her career.