'Everything went blurry.' Sophie Cachia on the moment she was first attracted to a woman.

Sophie Cachia arrived at an event where she was a guest speaker on a panel. Bursting into the room, she greeted, hugged and hand-shook her way from person to person, before the event began.  

At that time, the enigmatic social media influencer and entrepreneur was 28, married to AFL player Jaryd Cachia, and mum to two young kids. 

But then, one woman “completely stopped” Sophie in her tracks. 

“And when I say that, everything around her went blurry,” she shares with Mia Freedman on Mamamia’s No Filter podcast. 

Listen to Mia Freedman's full interview with Sophie Cachia on the No Filter podcast below. Post continues after audio.

“The electricity I felt up my arm when we shook hands…”

“I vividly remember how strong her handshake was, and I thought, oh, it's like a man's handshake. And then, I saw her fingers. And I saw her arms and veins… and biceps… and I just followed her arm all the way up to her eyes, where I believe I just froze and went… Hello.”

That was the moment where Sophie says she knew “instantly”.

“Something had happened. I didn't exactly know what, but I had butterflies over a woman, and that was a first," she says. 

The woman, a fellow panellist, was seated just a few chairs away. During the event, Sophie struggled to focus. The woman's presence was palpable.

“The whole time I'm looking down the row. I'm waiting for her to talk… And then I became attracted to her voice. It was very deep, it was very masculine.”

Read more: 'She was my drug and I was addicted.' Sophie Cachia on her on-off relationship with Alanna Kennedy.

Sophie was rocked. 

"I'd never [even] been the girl that kissed a girl at parties when I was younger. I'd never even remotely thought I could be attracted sexually to a woman."


Grappling with her feelings, she decided to discuss them with her husband when she got home from the event.

"We were so comfortable and confident in our relationship... Jared understood me better - and I believe still to this day - probably more than anybody else ever will."

And so, she started the conversation.

“Oh my goodness, Jaryd!... I just had a moment… I had a moment, with a woman… And I think I’m… obsessed with her, like, I have this instant crush on her.”

His reaction was not what one might assume: He was okay with it. 

Though not in an open relationship, Sophie and Jaryd had occasionally experimented beyond the traditional confines of their marriage. It turned them on to sometimes kiss other people when at a nightclub.

"He always said, 'I couldn't compete with a girl. I wasn't threatened because I could never offer what they can offer'. [But] it absolutely would have been different if it was a male," says Sophie.

That night marked the beginning of Sophie's friendship with the woman. They followed each other on Instagram. Each time the woman would 'like' or DM Sophie, she would "always feel a spark". 

Sophie would watch her play football - with her husband and children -  "and I'm thinking okay, I got a crush on this girl, but I also really like her just as a friend".

"I did feel like I had settled for this life that I believed I needed to have to make me happy without going, how can I know I'm happy with that if I haven't explored all these other options?" she tells Mia Freedman on No Filter. 


The friendship grew, all the while Sophie was unsure if the woman was same-sex attracted.

"This is how naïve I was back then," she recalls. 

And then "six or eight months" after they met, they found themselves out at the same club. 10 Wet pussy shots in - "funnily enough" - Sophie was candid about her feelings with her. The woman admitted she was interested too, but respected Sophie's marriage. Sophie explained she had her husband's approval.

"It was a bit of an awkward conversation at the start, because... I don't want her to think I'm lying and being sneaky behind Jaryd's back."

Then it happened. They kissed. 

"And something set fire in me. A kiss with a woman that happened so naturally. So passionate. It was hot. It got things going in my body that I never thought a kiss with a woman [would elicit]. And there was a connection."

"Now, whether that was a connection between myself and her or just myself and women, I don't know... But the snowball started after that."

Then There Was Her by Sophie Cachia is published by Simon & Schuster Australia and will be released on May 4.

Listen to the bonus episode of No Filter where Mia Freedman and Sophie Cachia talk about sex, vibrators and marriage Exclusive to Mamamia subscribers, listen here.

Keen to read more from Rebecca Davis? You can find her articles here, or follow her on Instagram, @rebeccadavis___

Feature Image: Instagram/Mamamia.

Are you the grocery buyer in your household? Take this short survey now to go in the running to win a $50 gift voucher!