This is some serious robot mindreader shit right here. A company called Workday have made some spooky software that predicts when you’re about to quit your job — and tells your boss. But we reckon, if you’re going to quit, do your boss a solid and save them the money for this software. Just use any or all of the following behaviour to warn them you’re on your way out.
And so we present to you: 9 Ways To Subtly Tell Your Boss You’re About To Quit.
1. Make an office playlist that includes “Bye, Bye, Bye” by Nsync, “I hate my job” by Cam’ron, and “I Want To Break Free” by Queen.
Play it repeat, baby.
2. Stealthily put one piece of office stationary in your bag and/or pocket every day.
Consider this an investment in your future.
3. Get business cards printed for the job “currently unemployed, but always awesome”.
Hand those babies out at every possible chance.
4. Move your desk and chair 3cm closer to the door every day.
Slow and steady.
5. Dramatically decline every reasonable request to do your job.
Get the gloves. The gloves are integral.
6. Where possible, channel your emotions into dance.
A catchy resignation is a good resignation.
7. Look for new jobs on your work computer and leave your Google history up on your screen.
Search term: “Better than this stupid job.”
8. Use your body language to demonstrate your disdain for everything you do.
The more childish, the better.
9. Spend an objectionable amount of time reading lists on the internet.
Just like this one you’re reading right now.
And if all else fails, bake this: