So my friend Sophia calls me yesterday and she says, “I just got into a fight waiting in line to see Santa”.

Me: "Wat was the fight about?"
Sophia: "I cut in line."
Me: "Why did you do that?"
Sophia: "Because there were 20 year olds in that line! What's THAT about?! I have four girls under seven and it's hard enough just leaving the house let alone having to wait in line for half an hour while adults sit on Santa's knee for a laugh."
Me: "What do you mean, for a laugh? Why were there 20-year-olds in the line?"
Sophia: "Apparently it's ironic. There were also parents with newborn babies. How RIDICULOUS is that? How terrified is a baby going to be of Santa? You'll bloody scar them for life! All I wanted to do was to take my age-appropriate children for a Santa photo and I've ended up taking on a hostile crowd in Westfield. Ho bloody ho."

I didn't do the Santa-lap thing this year. It always strikes me as a little creepy. And also? The thought of dragging my brood to Westfield and standing in line with schoolies and uni students is about as appealing as eating a box of hair.

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