Smoothies are the Devil.
That’s what we found out this morning, courtesy of new findings from health experts. That’s right, it’s the biggest food-related controversy since we discovered that bacon causes cancer.
But don’t worry, before you go spitting out your carefully blended kale and coconut water with extra chia seeds, green smoothies aren’t the kind we’re talking about.
We’re talking about the icy cold and delectable kind that you get from Gloria Jeans and Boost Juice, such as the Mango Fruzzies and Brekkie To Go-Go’s of the world.
Oh, the pain. We always knew it was too good to be true.
According to the Sydney Morning Herald, health experts have warned that some of these summer favourites which are advertised as being “98 per cent fat free” and having an “abundance of nutrition” in reality have more kilojoules than a Big Mac.
So, in other words, it’s lies, all lies.
Alison Ginn from Livelighter told the SMH, “Food outlets use phrases like 97 per cent ‘fat free’ or ‘dairy free’ to make their smoothies and frappes sound healthy, but… these drinks can actually do more harm than good.”
I don’t know about you but I would have liked to have stayed in my this-is-so-good-for-me bubble a little while longer. I’ve definitely been guilty of sitting on the sand with my Lemon Crush in hand while thinking I’m replenishing my body with pure citrusy goodness.
I mean, it’s got to be better than a scoop of pistachio ice-cream on top of a waffle cone, right… RIGHT?
“But we always knew they were bad!” I hear you cry.
“Who ever thought they were actually healthy?” I hear you ask.
“Only a sucker would believe that,” I hear you say.
With the benefit of hindsight I guess we always knew that the days of smoothies and frappes being a healthy option were numbered.
Remember the muffin debacle? What about the focaccia debate? And don’t even get me started on sandwich wraps.
Here are some other bad options that were cleverly disguised as being healthy:
Pretzels – while they’re definitely better than having a bag of chips, they don’t have any real health benefits and are basically empty calories.
Frozen yoghurt – much like pretzels, frozen yoghurt is often marketed as a healthier alternative to ice-cream. But this doesn’t mean it should become a regular in your diet, it’s still loaded with sugar.
Vitamin water – it’s loaded with extra sugar, mainly fructose which can cause a whole array of health problems when consumed excessively.
Salted nuts – the keyword here is salt. Natural nuts are always preferred and even then you should avoid having too many.
Fast-food salads – Greek and Caesar are the main culprits.
Sushi rolls – any sushi rolls that contain mayo or cream cheese and are deep fried or tempura are bad news.
So smoothies and frappes? It was nice knowing you. *weeps*
The good news is red wine is still safe. FOR NOW: