The trend that is ‘digitally recording everything or else it never really happened’, has finally (we all knew it was coming) reached the bedroom.
A ‘smart condom’ is being released by the company British Condoms and – though news of its pending arrival broke earlier this year – the first pictures of the ‘fitbit for sex’ were released on Tuesday.
It doesn’t look like a condom and don’t be deceived: there’s a catch. It doesn’t act like a condom, either – there is no protection against STIs and pregnancy is certainly possible.
No, the ‘i.Con’ is purely and simply a digital way to ‘keep score’, just in great detail.
It sits at the base of the penis and measures the number of calories burnt during intercourse; the number and speed of a man's thrusting; the duration and frequency of his sex; and how many different positions he uses over the course of a week, month or year... Charming.
Oh, and just like the running kind, the i.Con allows him to compare his performance with others from around the globe. (Brilliant - we certainly need more competition when it comes to men and sex.)
Listen: Former sex worker Samantha X speaks to Mia Freedman about the things she learnt on the job. Post continues after.
For just $103 Australian dollars, any man game enough to track his 'performance' with his smart phone and a d*ck ring, can pre-order the i-Con online.
Ladies, for us it can serve as a warning beacon, if nothing else: Every thrust, position and orgasm you share are about to be recorded. It just might be enough to turn you off completely.