Ah, slime. It once was a novelty that we only saw on television, at things like the Nickelodeon Kids awards shows and on It’s a Knockout. Now it’s everywhere.
You know the story. The kids nag you to buy a DIY slime kit, and you think, OK, that might be fun. At least they won’t be on their iPads.
But you are wrong. As you meticulously follow the slime recipe, the kids will sit at the kitchen bench licking ice-blocks and watching you stuff it up. Because in my vast experience, most slime recipes never work.
And it always ends like this: the kids insist on researching the ‘proper’ method for slime production by watching 500 hours of YouTube videos of kids in other countries making slime explode in ridiculous ways.
Or even worse, they might just try doing it themselves, forcing you to set fire to your kitchen to clean up the mess.
But I’ve found the ultimate DIY slime kit: Elmer’s Frosty Slime Kit, $19.99, and I promise you it’s easy, and it works.
Elmer’s Frosty Slime Kit.
The process starts with the above photo taken by my ten-year-old, who plans to make slime on my freshly polished dining table.
Um, that's a no from me.
But I later discover that we could have, as this is the least 'tacky' slime we've ever made.
Straight forward slime.
I have to admit I'm excited by how organised the kit is. It has clear instructions, in simple language. The ingredients are clearly labelled. It's all non-toxic, and washable, glue.
There's enough for multiple batches, which is reassuring, considering I always need back up in case, ahem, I don't make it perfectly the first time.
The colour comes from the glitter, not from any dyes, so it doesn't smell at all or stain. Even the glue doesn't have a scent.
Making it: we were there for a good slime, not a long slime (sorry).
You literally just open bottles, squeeze stuff in, and mix. We start mixing and...no way...it works instantly. Instantly.
No YouTubing "how to fix slime". No wasting of ingredients. A child excited by slime being made right before his eyes.
Shut up and take my money.
The last part involves about 20 seconds of kneading by hand. My child who's accustomed to tacky slime that sticks to everything, wears rubber gloves. But he didn't have to. The slime is now the consistency of very soft, malleable rubber.
It hasn't even stuck to the bowl or mixing spoon. I'm a little in awe, and very relieved. I had slime, a clean kitchen and a happy kid.
LISTEN: If you're child is all about slime right now, there's a good chance unicorn hair is going to pop up in conversation soon. We discuss, on our podcast for imperfect parents.