A couple of days ago, my fella and I made a decision that could well blow your mind.
I don’t think it’s overstating to say this has changed my life forever.
There’s a glorious lightness to slipping under the feathery softness of duck down with nothing but a cotton cover in between. Our feet are free, no longer pinned by sheets tucked with military precision under the Sealy Posturpedic. We’ve stopped fighting over the covers because when we roll over we’re more like a well-oiled cog than an industrial drill. We don’t get knotted and possessive.
Research shows every week we lose an entire night’s sleep. But, how can you ever catch up? (Post continues after video.)
Making the bed takes a full 1.3 seconds — and that includes decorative pillow placement.
Admit it — you know what I’m talking about.
But now? Now my workmates have branded me a “monster”. One actually looked me in the eye — probably praying I wouldn’t bite — and said “You’re an animal” and not in the way you’d say it to a prospective shag.
I’m pretty sure she thinks the next thing I’ll do is chow down on a bowl of Chum.
This is her reasoning.
- If you’re human, you wash your sheets every week.
- But you don’t wash your doona every week because it’s too much trouble. Even for homo sapiens.
- Therefore, me and my festy, drooling, hairy partner will spend six months — maybe more — sleeping under an unwashed doona cover, humping like donkeys, picking at each other’s nits and tearing into the flesh of any small rodent that might happen by. I’ll probably forget how to speak.
- Therefore, we are animals.
Nearly everyone agreed with her.