'I put the kettle in the fridge.' 11 absurd things we've done in the haze of new parenthood.

Love To Dream
Thanks to our brand partner, Love To Dream

One of the hardest parts of being a new parent is dealing with sleep deprivation. People warn you while you’re pregnant to ‘sleep while you can’, but it doesn’t help. NOTHING can prepare you for it.

Then you’re told ‘sleep while the baby sleeps’. I don’t know who invented the saying ‘to sleep like a baby’, but it is false advertising. Babies can wake every hour, on the hour, and the loud noises that come out of those tiny bodies make it incredibly difficult to get to sleep and if you do fall asleep eventually from sheer exhaustion, chances are you’ll wake yourself up in a panic searching through your bed for the baby because you can’t remember how you got there, your name or the day. Wait, I have a baby? What baby?

Lucky you’re SO DAMN CUTE

According to the National Sleep Foundation, driving when you’ve been awake for longer than 18 hours is the equivalent to having a blood alcohol level of 0.05 (0.08 is considered drunk).

So basically, you’re permanently drunk without the nice cheese platter or deep and meaningfuls with your friends.

You’re tired, you’re irritable. You cry over everything, literally. You'll feel filled with red hot rage while watching your partner sleep. You'll Google night nurses. You'll start to wonder if you'll ever sleep again, and begin doing really, really silly things.

I know, because my parent friends have done A LOT of funny things in that newborn sleep deprivation haze, which I've just come out of myself.

In my haze, I found the SWADDLE UP™ by Love To Dream. Used by millions of parents, this award-winning, International Hip Dysplasia Institute-certified swaddle is designed for sleep; so your baby and the whole family achieve a better night's sleep and avoid that sleep deprivation haze I was just taking about.

The SWADDLE UP™ design allows for your baby to have a more natural sleeping position with their arms up near their face, meaning they can suck on their little hands. It helps them self soothe easier, so the sleep gods have more chance of doing their thing. Here's my son Hudson in his:

love to dream
Arms up if you're having a great sleep. Image: Supplied.

The double zip means you can be quick about the middle-of-the-night nappy change, and you can choose the TOG (Thermal Overall Grade) rating that's right for your baby's room temperature. For example, SWADDLE UP™ Warm is great for right now as the temperature starts to lower a bit.

It's a helpful way to give you, and your baby, back some sleep. Speaking of which... want to hear some things my parenting community have done in the haze of new parenthood? Let's go:

  1. I spilled a whole cup of tea on myself and my bathrobe and instead of cleaning it up, I de-robed and turned my back to it and ate my breakfast and cried. There was a huge stain on our carpets and it ended up being taken out of our bond! - Rachael
Photo: Rachael and Isla in happier times

2. I accidentally revealed a pregnancy in the wrong group chat. My friend told me she was six weeks' pregnant earlier in the day and I was so distracted and tired I felt bad I hadn’t asked enough questions. So I quickly opened WhatsApp and asked her (by name), specifically if she was going to tell our other friends she was pregnant after she’d had her dating scan. The only problem was I asked her in the group chat with our mutual friends. I felt awful ruining her surprise but she was very understanding. - Leanne

3. I went to send photos from the birth to my school, where I work as a teacher, to let them know my son was born. I only realised a few days later that the photos I sent through to every single staff member included a shot of my boobs. - Chloe

4. I had to call an emergency locksmith as my son and I got locked out of the house after a walk. $120 later, I remembered I had put a spare key in the pram for emergencies like that. - Felicity


5. I’ve lost track of the amount of times I’ve walked around in public not realising I have not clipped my bra back up, or worse still, not putting my top back on properly so all is hanging out to see. - Tracy

6. My husband dreamt that he was burping our son (Julian) on his shoulder, and so he woke me up while he was still dreaming and dream-persuaded me to feed Julian in the middle of night by handing me an invisible baby - Zhao Zhao

7. I went to my local shopping centre with two different shoes on. I didn’t realise until I walked in and had to quickly go to Payless shoes and buy a matching pair. - Nicole

Close enough is good enough. Image supplied

8. I was once so sleep deprived, I put the kettle in the fridge and spent over an hour looking for it. - Tara

9. I woke up in the middle of the night and I was ripping the bed apart. Pulling all the sheets/blankets off the bed, throwing the pillows onto the floor, crying uncontrollably. Looking under the bed on my hands and knees. Then I opened the mirrored wardrobe and started going through the bottom section where the shoes are kept. Apparently I was saying "Oh no! Oh no! I can’t find the baby! He’s missing!" My partner had to literally drag me down the hallway to my sons bedroom to show me he was asleep soundly (AND SAFELY) in his cot. - Stephanie

10. I locked my daughter in the car THREE times... once I had to call 000 and two fire engines and three cop cars turned up. I don’t think they had much on that day. I have to say with all those emergency services I was a little disappointed that they couldn’t work out a better option than smashing the window but hey, that’s life. - Lauren

11. Last night I dreamt I was holding my daughter in bed and dreamt what I thought was her moving, so I picked her up, cradled her like a baby and was shooshing her back to sleep. She was really squirming... it took a good few seconds to realise it wasn’t my daughter, but my cat. The cat hasn’t been near me since. - Brittney

What's the strangest thing you've done while sleep deprived?

Love To Dream

"Since our early beginnings in 2009, our mission has remained the same; to help sleep deprived parents achieve safer, better, longer sleep for their babies (and therefore themselves) FROM DAY ONE™ with our multi award-winning SWADDLE UP™.
SWADDLE UP™ was born of necessity when Hana and her husband faced significant challenges getting their newborn son to sleep. Trial and error and a mother's intuition led to innovation.
The innovative SWADDLE UP™ with patented wings, allows babies to sleep in a more natural position with their ARMS UP™, allowing them to self-soothe via sucking. Medical research has shown that when babies can self-soothe, they can sleep for longer."