On the 19th of February this year I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. He is absolutely perfect. He is the most amazing thing I have ever seen and he makes me want to write poems and sing songs about him. The love I feel for him is immerse and indescribable.
My baby boy however did not, until recently, know how to sleep for more than 1.5 hours. I did what I thought were all the right things but I rarely could get him to sleep longer than that. Sometimes he’d throw me a bone and sleep for three hours but this was rare and unpredictable. For the first 4 months I handled sleep deprivation quite well but as the months dragged on my desperation grew.
Like a lot of people, while I was pregnant I read a lot trying to prepare myself for what I was in for. I never found anything on sleep deprivation. I found a lot on the sunshine and rainbows that is having a baby and quite a bit on PND, but not much on sleep deprivation. People I spoke to would jokingly say ‘get plenty of sleep now’ but that was about it. I actually remember internally rolling my eyes and thinking ‘gosh people carry on, it’s not going to be that bad.’ Oh my dear past self how very wrong you were.