Oh dear lordy lord I would actually pay someone to stick a sharp object in my eye right now.
Pimple popping was bad enough, okay, everybody? IT WAS BAD ENOUGH.
But no no no no, we weren’t satisfied with people squeezing bulging cysts of pus. Oh, no! We had to then go and litter the bloody internet with videos of people peeling their foot skin off.
Why yes, my dear sweet pretty readers. “Foot peeling” has exploded like a giant pimple this month, and human beings are relishing looking like they have some form of leprosy.
I’m not mad, I’m just mentally scarred.
Monique Bowley and Holly Wainwright – both non-popper fans – were forced to watch Dr Pimple Popper on Mamamia OutLoud:
And although I throw up in my mouth every time I watch a “foot peeling” video on YouTube, I can’t stop. I legitimately cannot stop, you guys. I’m scared and it’s cold and Vodafone keep telling me they’re adding $10 data boosters to my account because I USED ALL OF THE DATA THEY GAVE ME WATCHING PEOPLE REMOVE THE SKIN FROM THEIR FU-JUCK-ING BODIES.
What… is wrong… with me?
I honestly do not know. What I do know is that these videos, where people apply skin-shedding products before going rogue on their own feet, are Addictive-with-a-capital-A.
Let’s watch, shall we?
Here we have a lovely lass named Annie. She has a whole lotta dead skin to get rid of. (The good stuff starts about three minutes in… you’re welcome.)
Aaaaaaah. How very relaxing.
And here are Meghan and her pal Marissa, who had the same idea.
Over three million people have watched this video, by the way. Cool.
And then there’s this, uploaded by a nice chap named Dmitrij.
For this video, ladies and gentlemen, I have no words. Only sadness and pain and an unrelenting urge to replay it all over again.
I am truly so sorry for spreading my addiction with you all like the plague.
But look at us now, you guys! We’re a cute little club obsessed with people shedding their skin like freakin’ lizards! We’re united by our addiction! We’re all in this together!