I’ve always felt pretty smug about being a ‘smug married’ because so many of my friends are single and say they wish they had my life. What they (and I) don’t realise is that we’ve all been brainwashed.
I’m actually not any happier than they are. If any one group is happy it’s single people who are spending ‘the best years of their lives’ wishing they had the things – marriage, children – movies, dating sites, TV shows books and parents say we should want. Even government benefits favor those who are married, not to mention things like private health insurance.
It’s a big fat myth that goes something like this:
Marriage leaves you feeling happier, healthier and more fulfilled.
Being single means you are miserable, will die earlier and will feel empty forever.
Prominent psychology researcher Bella DePaulo says that's never been true and science needs to start approaching relationship research much differently and more accurately. She wants the myth of 'married happiness' and 'single misery' challenged.
Her comments came ahead of the annual meeting of the American Psychological Association in Denver.
DePaul says the myth that marriage equates to happiness is perpetuated by every TV show, every movie, every book and everyone's parents and DePaulo said it's time we rethink this way of thinking, starting with properly examining married life and single life and discovering the truth behind the two.
Could it be that when single people say they are perfectly happy being single, we should actually believe them instead of nodding along while feeling pity for them?
When a married person makes a snide remark about the prison that is married life or how annoying their partner is, instead of laughing to lighten the mood should we actually acknowledge their complaint?
What I'd tell my 15-year-old self. Article continues after this video.
Is it possible that single people are actually enjoying the best years of their lives?
The number of single people in the world is increasing thanks to more people choosing not to marry. They are called the "never-marrieds". They've aren't widowed or divorced. They are single by choice.