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Nobody tells you what it’s going to be like, having twins. Probably because not many people know.
But even other multi mums will only tell you how amazing and special it is. Because it is. But nobody tells you about the depths of struggle that you are about to experience. And yes, the joy really does override it all. But you best be believing that the hard times are real AF too.
I became a single mum of twins when my girls were five weeks old.
I packed up my girls and fled with what little belongings I had the strength to gather up at five weeks post emergency C section. Five weeks after nearly dying and spending two weeks in hospital.
They had no idea Mummy shouldn’t be driving or Mummy was about to become a 30-year-old solo twin mum, or that Mummy was, for the first time in her life, genuinely afraid. They also had no idea what a happy, harmonious home life looked like or felt like, so I held that in the forefront of my mind while all the other “hards” battled it out for top spot in the back.
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At first I went through this deep and profound mourning phase; for the person I was, the life I’d led, the career I’d chased, the relationship I’d lost.
My whole identity shifted in the space of two days, and boy was it a rude awakening. Possibly the hardest part of all was to have these perfect little beings looking up at me with absolute adoration when I felt like they’d just won the lottery for world’s worst Mum.
Thank God for my parents in those early days! I honestly do not know how we survived that first year, but I’d risk the contents of my bank account to wager that it was my parents.
Helping me with those evening feeds, taking the night shift once in a while, even just being the second pair of hands I never knew I’d need. In fact my whole family rallied around me like never before, and it finally dawned on me, the whole “it takes a village” mentality.
Eventually the “hard” became the “normal” and my body and mind adjusted accordingly. It was normal to rock one baby in your arms and another in your feet. Normal to live off an hour or two of sleep a day.