Recently I discovered yet another term to describe the modern day single, a new term for a person who comes from the same realm as the F*ckboy. Introducing, The Honest Arsehole, a combination of everything you want, but who always makes it clear that you’re not what he or she wants… long term anyway. Now I personally don’t like to label anyone, I hate to create an us verse them mentality in a world where dating is already hard enough as it is.
But after complaining to a friend about a guy I had just met who one date in had already told me he wasn’t after a relationship, she explained to me this new ‘breed’ of single person. The Honest Arsehole, the perfect and oh so dangerous combination of charming, flirty and available (not emotionally though) with a double shot of honesty. The type of person, who will wow you yet not with the intention of winning you over.
Now let me set the scene a little here… This guy, the so-called Honest Arsehole, was a total gentleman in every sense of the word. He opened car doors for me. Sheltered me from the rain with his gloriously buff arms, meanwhile getting completely drenched. The type of guy who will kiss you on the forehead and cuddle you in the morning and then drop the line, ‘I’m not really after a girlfriend’. Yeah, you know the type.
Now unfortunately it’s not my first encounter with an Honest A. I myself, have dated many like this, one for four months, another for six months, another for two months, and every time it’s the same. I know, I’m an idiot! They’ll set it up within the first few weeks, making it apparent that they aren’t after anything serious. Meanwhile showering you with compliments, hanging out with you multiple times a week and texting all-the-time. It’s more than a booty call, you do things outside of the sheets and in the daylight. So, for the hopeful person wanting this to go somewhere, you ignore what he says about not wanting anything because his actions say otherwise. And here lies the difficulty with the Honest Arsehole.
When you tell your friends, you’ve been dating a guy for a month and you see him three times a week, but he doesn’t want anything, they tell you he’s a jerk. They ask all the typical questions like, why does he act like a boyfriend, take all the benefits of a relationship, but refuse to commit? Dump him, they say…
LISTEN: How to stop dating a type. (Post continues below…)
But then in his defence you find yourself saying, he’s always been honest about it, I knew what I was getting into. So that openness from the get-go makes him a nice guy right? And plus, he must be slightly confused because he acts like a boyfriend. Throw in those charming charismatic lines like ‘but I’m only talking to you’ that keep you hanging around. Hook, line and sinker… who knows, maybe he’ll change his mind.