There are pretty much universal signs that you are in an unhealthy relationship. If this sounds like yours, it is time to make some huge changes. Perhaps therapy is in order and your relationship is fixable. And in some cases, the only way to save yourself is by leaving it.
1. He is an addict.
If your partner is an addict, you cannot fix him. You must leave if you ever want peace or joy in your life. Some women develop an unhealthy love of the drama that life with an addict brings. Other women are co-dependent and “enjoy” repeated attempts to fix and care for their sick partner. Regardless, if you want a healthy relationship yet are with an addict, it is time get therapy, get strong, and get out. There is no other option if you ever hope for joy, peace and love in your life.
2. There is physical abuse.
If either you or your partner are hitting each other, you must end the relationship. Almost without exception, violence escalates. If this is your relationship, your mental and physical safety are at grave risk. Get help. Get out. Now.
3. He abuses your children.
If your partner abuses your children, you must report the crime and leave immediately. It is your moral, legal and ethical duty to protect your children. Failure to do so means there is a very real possibility you may have your parental rights terminated. These seems so obvious yet I know a few women who have actually put their children at risk in order to try and keep their guy. It is unbelievably sick.
4. You can’t be your “true” self.
If you are constantly trying to appease your partner by being someone you’re not, you need serious help. If you are afraid that your partner won’t like you or may leave if he truly gets to know you, you must confront this reality now. This one can be really tough. When I first met my fiancé, I hesitated telling him about my battle with cancer. I realised that if he knew about my health issues and left me, we had no future anyway. I have tried my best to be the “real Lizzy” from day one because if I am not good enough for my guy, then we are seriously wasting our time. And if he needs to leave the relationship, then there is nothing I can do to prevent it anyway.
5. Your family, friends and children hate him.
If those you love the most can’t stand your guy, you need to start listening. Ask why and if you see some truth in what they are saying, perhaps you need to re-think the relationship entirely. Plus, if your guy becomes the reason why your loved ones makes themselves scarce, you are becoming isolated in the relationship. Perhaps your guy loves this– you are all his and he can better control you. And if this is true, you are in a potentially highly abusive relationship.
6. He embarrasses you.
Who loves to continually make excuses for the behaviour of our guy? No one! If you no longer want to take him with you to public events or around your friends, it is time to end the relationship.