Three weeks ago I was sitting on a beautiful beach on a relatively remote island in Malaysia. The air was warm, the crystal-clear water was brimming with Nemo’s dancing in the fluorescent coral and the sky was streaked with the most beautiful pink and gold stains. The sun was setting.
Trying to immerse myself in the beauty that is nature was cut abruptly short, when the couple on the table beside us pulled out a selfie stick.
Considering that the week prior I had overindulged on margaritas and purchased 3 selfie sticks myself, the actual implement didn’t bother me at all. It was the way they went about it.
This very attractive couple began to pose (fine), ask to borrow drinks from neighbouring tables to hold up to each click as if they were theirs (kind of fine) only to then pull out another selfie stick and wander in separate directions to take their own photos of themselves and the sunset (not fine).
I know images on social media aren’t real and photoshop exists, blah blah blah, but shameless selfies are starting to impact my me-time. This is when you should never take one.
On public transport.
Look, I’ve done a sneak snap of myself on a train (keyword being sneaky) and the contention was to see if my pimple was shrinking, or had hired another mayor for their community. People are stagnant on public transport and we can all see you pose, fish face, delete and repeat. And yep, we saw you change the filters to get rid of your own pimple also.
A stranger can be just a friend you haven’t met yet, taking selfies in front of them is no way to start a friendship train.
I’m pretty over obligations calendar events and hearing about yours, but only seeing you. Christmas, great, show me the image of your drunk uncle, I don’t want to see a rolling eyes, model shoot selfie.