Mastering new sex positions can be daunting at the best of times, but when you find penetrative sex super painful, the thought of testing out something new goes straight to the bottom of your to-do list. Firmly underneath ‘do taxes’ and ‘go to the dentist’.
Not that hearing that heaps of other people find penetrative sex sore makes your experience any cosier, but know that if you are struggling with finding penetrative sex pleasurable, you are far from alone.
Now watch some really interesting ways women can reach orgasm. Post continues after video.
Why does penetration hurt?
Penetrative sex can be painful for a number of reasons, with a handful of conditions often being the cause. Top hitters include vaginismus and vulvodynia and neither can be remedied with a strong natural attraction and a bucket load of lube, unfortunately.
According to gynaecologist Dr. Nicole Stamatopoulos, penetration can also be painful if you have an overactive pelvic floor (which is when the muscles are over-contracted), which can be the preliminary stage before vaginismus “where penetration is just not possible”.
Another major cause is endometriosis, which is a condition where the tissue that normally lines the uterus grows elsewhere - in spots like your bowel, ovaries and pelvis. If you have endometriosis growing behind your vagina (in your lower uterus) then sex can be extremely sore and penetration can pull or stretch the irritated tissue, causing immense pain.
While there’s a chance that penetrative sex is always going to be a bit of an uncomfortable experience if you’re juggling these conditions, there are some positions that should soothe the soreness and feel a whole lot better. Here we run through the gynaecologist-approved moves to try with a partner or alone if penetrative sex isn't serving up the goods.