food

Gwyneth Paltrow wants you to eat Sex Dust.

Images: Moon Juice / Instagram.

I’m calling it; Gwyneth Paltrow is spamming us in real life.

I know, I know, it’s become a sport to poke fun at her lifestyle website, Goop, but when I tell you what she’s now spruiking I defy you not to pull a WTF face.

Ready? Gwyneth Paltrow wants you to eat Sex Dust. Not just any ol’ Sex Dust, but $60 a pop Moon Juice Sex Dust.

I lost you at Moon Juice, didn’t I?

Gwyneth Paltrow thinks you need a $4000 gold juicer for Christmas.

She chatted to the owner of LA’s Moon Juice (think Pressed Juices, but with more voodoo and chanting), about her brand and whipped up some ‘chocolate’ Sex Bark. You know, for that 3-course dinner you’re planning to cook your S.O. on Feb 14.

Moon Juice's sexy times Sex Bark.

The magic ingredients in Sex Dust are apparently "wild crafted" and include: Epimedium, Ho Sho Wu, Schizandra, Cristanche, Shilajit, Maca, Cacao, Lo Han Guo, Stevia.

Paltrow describes Moon Juice’s Sex Dust as "an aphrodisiac warming potion promoting enjoyable sex and fertility for both men and women.”

Fact checking Gwyneth Paltrow’s fitness routine.

Still confused? This might help, straight from the brand’s website: "Ho shou wu is an herb tonic used for centuries to enhance youthfulness, reproductive function, and sex drive and …. the aphrodisiac warming potion will send waves of blood to all the right places. This is a holistic approach to deeply enjoyable sex and fertility for both men and women, supporting brain chemistry, hormone production, as well as glandular and fluid replenishment.”

Right, got it. Definitely got it now...

So if you do happen to be in the US (Moon Juice don't ship to Aus) and want to whip up some Sex Bark with your Sex Dust, you should know it’ll set you back a casual $150. Which is roughly equivalent to four bottles of snake oil.

Also? Just a word of warning, don't Google image search 'sex dust'. Just don’t.

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