I slept with three different men within three months after separating from my husband. Am I proud of this fact? No I’m not. Would I do it over again if I could? Yes, I would and here’s why.
1. I was in a loveless marriage for a long time.
And since I didn’t love my husband I never wanted to have sex with him. I would do it, however, just to get him off my back (no pun intended) so he would stop pestering me. The sex sucked. I would lie there as he’s pounding away thinking of all the housework I needed to get done, what I needed to do at work the next day and go over things I needed to get at the supermarket.
All I could think was “please cum and get this over with so I can get back to my day.” Now some of you may think I should have tried more, and I did. I told him more times than I can count that in order for me to be sexually stimulated, I needed to first be mentally stimulated. These were my asks: compliment me, tell me I’m pretty once in a while like you used to. Write me a hand written note like you used to. (A sticky note would even do the trick). Have a deep, meaningful conversation with me, one that I can tell you are generally interested in what I have to say. Rub my back and not expect anything after. I wasn’t asking for much in my opinion, but even going to counselling couldn’t get him to do these things. The most ironic thing: nothing I asked for cost a cent. Not one cent!
2. I thought for many years that I had lost my sex drive.
I figured that since I hit 40 it must just be par for the course. Well, after having sex with someone after only being with my husband for nine years I soon realised that was not the case at all. I hadn’t lost my sex drive; I just never wanted to f*ck my husband!