teens

"Have lots of sex." And other advice for my teenage daughter.

This is what they won’t teach you at school.

My daughter. I can’t believe that you’re going to be a teenager soon.

A lot of people are going to be telling you a lot of things about sex. There’ll be scary warnings. You’re going to hear about unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections and sexting and Rohypnol.

I’m not going to insult your intelligence. I trust that you’re going to wait until you feel ready and use your judgement and carry condoms and all that stuff.

But, there’s one thing I want you to know, above all: Sex is fantastic. It feels great.

Oh, and a few other things too…

1. Your body was designed to give you sexual pleasure. That’s a scientific fact. There is no other reason for having a clitoris.

2. Have lots of sex. Or don’t have any at all, if you don’t want to. The important thing is that you’re doing it because you want to do it and you’re enjoying it. If you’re not enjoying sex, something’s not right.

3. Experiment. If you think you’re going to like it, try it. At the same time, don’t let someone pressure you into something by saying, “If you loved me, you’d do it.” If they loved you, they wouldn’t say that.

4. Some of the best sex you’ll have will be with yourself. Spend time on your own, just playing around and finding out what works for you. It’ll make sex with other people better, too.

Do some exploring on your own. It's fun.
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5. Orgasms are brilliant. It doesn't matter how you get there, so long as you get there.

6. Don't hesitate to say what you like and what you don't like when it comes to sex. Men like smart, strong, loud, funny women. At least, all the men worth bothering with.

7. Your sexuality is not a "gift" that you have to hang onto and give to somebody. It's yours. Always was, always will be.

8. The word "slut" was invented by men to keep women under control. When women use it, they're either mixed-up or jealous.

9. Porn is just someone's fantasy. Don't take it seriously. You might like the stuff made by women better.

Here's a video about sex education films. Post continues after the video.

10. You are beautiful and desirable just as you are. You will be beautiful and desirable in different ways as you get older. But you never need to feel grateful that someone is interested in you.

I am always here if you want someone to talk to.

Enjoy yourself.

What advice would you give your daughter about sex?

The writer is know to us, but has chosen to remain anonymous.

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