We all thought this was a regular Monday night – maybe a cheeky wine, perhaps some ice cream in front of the TV… we were all SO WRONG.
Because it was also the episode of Seven Year Switch where the stars take their partner-who-are-not-their-partner on a ‘perfect first date’.
The show went to places we were never expecting, particularly on a Monday night.
Watch: Here we were thinking Michael’s meltdown was as interesting as SYS would get. (Post continues.)
It started off pretty tame. Mermaid swimming. Lawn bowls. Rock climbing.
And then Micheal was organising his perfect date with Kaitlyn, and it involved “yoga, meditation and colonic hydrotherapy”.
YES, COLON CLEANSING.
Where you sit with your legs apart and a clear tube up your bottom for 30 minutes as your colon is flushed out with water. You can watch the… products(?)… as they exit through the tube and are washed away.
“It’s not something at the top of my list, because I’d rather not see someone’s faeces,” Kaitlyn said to camera. (We can all agree, yeah?)
“This is amazing. I’m so excited,” she said to Michael.
Michael was up first… “Come in at your own risk,” he told Kaitlyn through the door after he was finished inserting the tube.
She entered. She held his hand. They both watches his faeces exit the tube and sung a strange song together to kill the 30-minute procedure time.
Then it was Kaitlyn’s turn. “I was really excited for my colon cleanse until it came to actually doing it,” she said. (A sentence said by NO ONE EVER, surely?)
— Kylie Rallings (@k_rallings) May 8, 2017
They both checked out the products of each other’s bowel movements. Michael said she was doing “great” and talked her through it.
“I love that he felt so close to me that he could share this,” Kaitlyn said.
“He was so supportive. ‘Just one more push’.”
Twitter, of course, had a melt down.
— The Canberra Lawyer (@KaseyFoxLawyer) May 8, 2017
#sevenyearswitch Colon cleanse for your first date? What a real bummer!
— Matthew David (@twitsmatter) May 8, 2017
Nothing screams ‘romantic’ like a plastic tube up the shitter in front of a complete stranger #SevenYearSwitch
— bdavin68 (@bdv1968) May 8, 2017
— OFFICIAL_TAY_AUS (@OFFICIAL_TAY_AU) May 8, 2017
THEY’RE GOING ON A COLON CLEANSING DATE. TOGETHER. HIS & HERS COLON CLENSES. I FUCKING HATE MYSELF FOR WATCHING THIS #SevenYearSwitch
— Nat (@kahlarsee) May 8, 2017
And Australia, your Monday night can end on this impossibly visual and somewhat disturbing admission from Kaitlyn.
“I feel so much better now I’m off it,” she said.
Done. We are DONE.