If you kept a diary as a kid, you’ll know what a mortifying experience it is to read over it as an adult and realise all you cared about was gushing about your crush, destroying your romantic rivals and hating on that doof-wad who pinched your favourite pen.
You’ll also know it is exceedingly brave for 16-year-old Madie Cardon to not have burned her old diary, but to have shared it for all of the internet to see.
found my diary from when I was 7 I’m dying???????????? pic.twitter.com/M57wJhsmFd
— мadie (@madiecardon) May 16, 2016
The drama begins on February 13, 2008.
We’ve left the spelling as is, and if we could have kept the giant circles on the i’s, we would have done so too. Because seven-year-olds know what’s up.
Grab your popcorn. This rollercoaster tale of young love and heartbreak is pure gold.
“Dear Diary, I don’t know if I can do this anymore. I think I have deppresion. Today at school my crush riley was chasing other girls on the playground! I thout he liked me. And guess who he was chasing! Jessica! She is such a player! She hugs at least 5 boys every day! I am so mad at her.” Oh my god Jessica, hugging five boys in ONE DAY? What a nasty piece of work. And to be honest we don't like the sound of Riley either. Madie deserves better. But she's only seven so we'll cut her some slack.
Don't doubt little Madie's sass. She's not about to give up. She has masterminded a plan a sabotage stupid Jessica.
"I think I will tell riley her secret. She wears pull ups! After he finds out he wont like her anymore."
PULL UPS?! Jessica is a bed-wetter? We never saw this coming. Why haven't nappies been the plot twist of any coming-of-age movies before? It's genius.
Ok, next entry. The saga now takes us to February 14, aka the dumbest day in the Gregorian calendar.
Ok first of all, Madie needs to stop putting little hearts around Riley's name because he is a total D-bag.
Secondly, she really should have learnt to spell "anonymous" because 'anomious' is probably too hard for a seven-year-old brain to decipher and it's possible that only confused him to the point he had to chuck it out.
Thirdly, this is way too gut-wrenching. Madie stayed up ALL NIGHT like a champ to pour her heart and soul into creating the perfect Valentine's gift only for it to be chucked away. It turns out the pull ups revenge strategy didn't work after all. Who would have thought? She totally should have had that in the bag. Let's assume Riley is just a weirdo who is into nappies.
We now come to the third and final installment, February 15. It is short but powerful.
"Worst day ever. Riley told me he likes Jessica. I am done with boys. I want to kill all of them."
The devastation is still so raw but the realisation she has lost that moron Riley to homewrecker Jessica has turned her emotions into anger. Riley's name is now surrounded by X's instead of hearts.
She hasn't just sworn off boys, she declares war. And draws a rather violent image of herself shooting a group of stickmen. The feels.
Mamamia mums share the weirdest things their children have done. Post continues after video...
Madie shared her diary on Tuesday and people have been going bonkers over it. She has more than 26,000 retweets.
We understand Madie left the school and hasn't been in contact with Jessica or Riley in years - until now.
Riley's current girlfriend Haley Powell shared a snap of him on Twitter. And you thought this story couldn't get any better, tsk tsk. Here he is.