weddings

These brides had second thoughts walking down the aisle. They probably should have listened to them.

If you’ve been watching Married at First Sight you would have seen Lauren and Andrew’s train wreck of a “marriage”. Short story: they were married for less than 24 hours before Lauren decided to ghost him in a pub and disappear for the next five days.

I’m sure Lauren isn’t the first or last bride to have second thoughts walking down the aisle.

A survey last year in the UK revealed a frightening statistic that 70% of marriages will deal with infidelity of some kind. That same survey also claimed a third of people believed they had married the wrong person.

In Australia in 2014, there were 121,197 marriages and 46,498 divorces (nearly 40%).

So it’s no wonder many brides have second thoughts about the man they are going to marry – even as they are walking down the aisle. I recently reached out to my female friends to find out what was REALLY going through their minds in those moments before they said, “I do”.

Rina

“It didn’t seem real, it seemed more like playing house and it only sank in that I was married hours after the ceremony.”

“It hit me that it’s final and that we barely know one another. We’ve never had sex before or anything. ‘Til that moment I was caught up in doing the “right” thing and feeling close to God, partaking in something sacred that’s meant to be according to “His Will” but I was honestly scared right afterwards.

“I loved my new husband of course, it was our choice to get married, but suddenly he seemed like a stranger and really he was in so many ways … that’s when it hit me for the first time, just how long this “till death do us apart” may be. My new mother in law said it was a normal feeling and she felt the same way when getting married.”

Kylie

“As a “trifecta” bride I had three very different experiences. Married the 1st time in my 20s the 2nd time in my 30s and the 3rd in my 40s, as you can imagine my life and my mindset was very different each time.”

“The first time I walked down the aisle as a 26-year-old bride, I remember feeling stressed. I was furious the celebrant was late. The venue had forgotten to put out the extra chairs and one of my bridesmaids had gone rogue and worn an unauthorised pair of heels.

“When I got married at 34 I walked down the aisle thinking “It’ll be OK, he won’t cheat again now you’re married. Yup. I was a complete moron. He had cheated the entire time we were together. I also remember thinking, fuck I hate his family as we were getting married.

what brides are thinking when they walk down the aisle
"The survey also claimed that a third of people believed they had married the wrong person."
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"When I got married the 3rd time at 41, I was happy. I felt calm and relaxed. I walked down the aisle thinking "God this place is beautiful" (we got married in Vanuatu) you couldn't wipe the smile off my face. I just really wanted to be his wife. It was a great day."

The further I dug the more I saw a pattern starting to emerge.

Fiona

"There was this very clear moment when I knew I was making a massive mistake but to save face I went through with it any way."

"I thought, what the fuck am I doing?! Ok just breathe you can do this - you can always just get divorced anyway. I didn’t want to disappoint my family yet again by admitting I was making yet another mistake.

"Mum and Dad had paid for everything and everyone was so happy to see me 'settle down'. He was always a controlling asshole, but at the time I believed that I would never find anyone better, and thought I could just live that type of life."

And this confession from a close friend whose wedding I was actually at! I thought she looked really happy and beautiful walking down the aisle.

what brides are thinking when they walk down the aisle
"It didn't seem real, it seemed more like playing house and it only sank in that I was married hours after the ceremony." (Image via iStock.)
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I was shocked when Sally confessed:

"I thought, this is a mistake. I love him but he's not the person I thought I would end up with. What am I doing?"

"I started to tell myself that it was normal to experience these things, the gut feeling I had told me there had to be more to life than a relationship with this person with whom the word "fine" and "content" seemed to represent.

"I looked at him as I was walking down the aisle and he looked so happy, I told myself I couldn't break his heart and I was perfectly fine with spending the rest of my life with my best friend, even if it wasn't the passionate love I had always been searching for. With that, I just marched on down the aisle and married him."

But my favourite story is from Kym:

“I was just getting into the limo with my Dad when I stopped for a second, turned to him and said, “I don’t think I can do this” and he said “well it’s a bit late to pull out now” and he pushed me in the car."

I’ve only written about the negative thoughts that went through bride’s minds but they all have one thing in common.

All of the brides who had second thoughts or their instinct was telling them “don’t do this” in those last moments before being married are now divorced. Whereas the brides who couldn’t wait to get down the aisle and join their husbands are still married.

I asked Kym if a person was having second thoughts about marrying someone what advice would she give.

She said, "listen to your gut, have faith in what you're feeling, if you’re having doubts, don’t do it and don’t listen to anybody else."

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