The answer every mum has been desperately searching for.
You’d have thought I was asking him to dive naked into a pool of man-eating sharks. With shark bait tied to his wrist.
You’d have thought I had served him a plate of mashed worms.
The screams. The tears. The fists beating the table in horror.
A chair was kicked.
And my crime – was serving ice cream.
ICE-CREAM FOR F**K’S SAKE.
“I can’t eat that,” he bellowed down our quiet cul-de-sac.
I am sure one of the neighbours noted it in her book she keeps on the antics of those children from the corner.
It was Neapolitan ice cream you see, the type with three delicious stripes of strawberry, vanilla and chocolate.
Creamy, sweet, delicious.
I had been extra careful. No ice cream with bits in it. Nothing with topping, nothing with chunks of fruit.
I thought I had nailed it.
What I didn’t see was the tiny stripe of vanilla that had stuck to the chocolate.
“The white is touching the brown,” he wailed.
There was no rescuing this situation. The bowl was pushed away in disgust. The tantrum began.
My peaceful glass of wine I was looking forward to while they quietly ate ice cream, a dim fantasy.
That’s why I can totally relate to the author of New York Times best selling book Go The F*ck to Sleep Adam Mansbach who has just released a sequel. “You have to f*cking eat”.
Mansbach told Mashable that he wrote it because eating is such a fundamental thing. He called it, “one of life's great joys, in fact.”
He said that there's a “particular frustration that comes with not being able to get your kid to eat. Trying to get a kid to put on her shoes might be crazy-making, but it's not quite the same as having her reject the basic concept of sustenance. It seemed to me like a universal experience, and one that parents would welcome the chance to commune over and laugh about."