I never treated you right, and now I deeply regret it.
Dear pre-pregger boobs,
I know you’ve been waiting for this day for far too long. But here it finally is.
I’m so sorry I never truly appreciated you for all your beauty.
I’m happy to confess that you and I have never been besties. Far from it.
When you first entered my life, I was still clinging to being a Tom Boy. And well, you were ruining my image. It also didn’t help that my mum and sister’s friends kept congratulating me on my new rapidly-growing friends.
And well, the love between us never really grew. Although you did.
But here I am, with a new set of boobs that make me realise everything you were to me. You see, while many pregnant women look forward to the pregnancy side effect of bigger boobs, I do not.
I was never truly comfortable with the size you got to pre-pregnancy, despite the compliments you attracted from both women and men. And I know while those compliments made you a little happier, you secretly wished they came from me.
And I am sorry for that. I am sorry for not paying you more attention. For not taking you bra shopping, instead just grabbing always the same t-shirt bra in nude and black. I am sorry you never felt the frenchiness of lace, or silkiness of satin. I'm sorry you never got to peak through a deep V-neck plunge.
I do hope that you understood it was just because I didn't feel comfortable with you. I didn't want you to grab all the attention, I wanted to be known for more than my boobs.
Now, that I'm faced with even bigger boobs, I realise how perfect you were. I missed you last weekend as I stood in the changing room waiting for the shop assistant to bring me the next size up. For the third time.
I missed you for your convenience. When you reached your final stage in my early twenties, you stayed there. I didn't have to worry that in a couple of months you might be even bigger, like I do now at 15 weeks pregnant.
I liked how you fit into all my tops with ease and convenience. Sure, you never let me wear a backless dress for the lack of bra. Sure, wearing a strapless anything brought the annoyance of a strapless bra that never could keep you up. And yes, finding a bikini top that gave you no room to slip out of was pure hell every summer. But you fit. You didn't look out of place on my body.
Now, my current boobs do. They look like one oval boob in a crew-neck t-shirt. They've pretty much cast aside many of my previous cocktail dresses (made that wonderful discovery last night). They have me at a loss for what size clothing top to buy. And well when their bra is sitting in my drawers, they look like they could easily be the sails to a small yacht. And I'm not even mentioning the growing pains.
I know what you are going to say. Learn my lesson. Appreciate the boobs I have at the moment, because in a couple of months, I will soon be wishing for them as I stand in the changing room yet again waiting for the next couple sizes up to be brought to me.
But right now, all I can think of is how much I miss you. How mean I was to you. And how I know that after pregnancy and breastfeeding and anything else coming my way, you won't ever come back.
So, I'm sorry, and I miss you like you could never imagine.
Did you love or loathe your pregnancy boobs?
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