You can spot them straight away…
Unfazed by the four hours sleep they had last night (and the night before… and the night before that).
Sporting a streamlined tote instead of a 10-kilo nappy bag stuffed with an outfit change to suit every possible variation of weather condition, from heatwave to blizzard.
They know how to unfold the pram without dislocating a shoulder and take every projectile vomit and nappy explosion in their stride.
I mean, let’s break it down. If you want to get fit, you’re going to visit a gym – not a buffet. If you want to learn French, there’s no point signing up for a tantric yoga class.
Yet when it comes to one of life’s most vital skills – parenting – we put a bunch of women with zero experience together, and tell them to go for it.
If Mothers’ Group is supposed to be a place to share knowledge and experiences, really it’s the social equivalent of doing a tandem skydive with an instructor who’s afraid of heights: you’re flying blind and just hoping not to hit the ground too hard.
Which is where our second time mums come into it.