couples

'My boyfriend wants to propose with his ex-girlfriend's ring.' The predicament going viral.

A woman on Reddit has shared her predicament after her boyfriend asked if he could propose to her using a customised ring he had originally intended for his now ex-girlfriend.

Titled “Is it unreasonable rejecting an old engagement ring?”, the woman, who goes by the username ‘thatgirlwithqns’, shares that she is unsure what to do in the situation, because whilst she understands the practicality of it from his side, she doesn’t like that it was originally designed for another woman.

“My boyfriend and I have always talked about getting married,” the woman began. “Recently he asked if I was okay with him giving me an old engagement ring.”

Providing context, she explains that her partner was with his previous girlfriend for four years and planned to propose to her before they ended their relationship. That was three years ago, she explains, and he now still has the customised ring, which was sourced from overseas.

“I’m not sure what the actual value of the ring was, but according to him he spent few thousand dollars on the ring in total. This was not even including the money spent flying to and fro.”

Side note – Forget about engagement rings. Now it’s all about engagement piercings apparently. The Mamamia Out Loud team discuss it on the podcast below. Post continues after audio.

“He asked if I was okay with him giving me the old ring because it’s just been sitting in his cupboard, and he felt like there was finally a purpose to that old ring.”

The woman admits that she understands “the practicality of it” since “it’ll go to waste if he doesn’t use it”.

And, by not purchasing a new ring, she continues, the couple will be able to save their money for “more important things like our house instead”.

“However something in my heart just can’t get over the fact that the ring was originally made for someone else in mind. He assured me that she never wore it, but I just don’t want something that wasn’t made for me.”

“Am I being unreasonable? I don’t need an expensive ring, and I don’t need diamonds, but I’d like the ring to be bought with me in mind.”

The user explained that they had explored the option of selling the bespoke engagement ring, but that the jeweller explained it would only be worth a few hundred dollars – considerably less than what he paid for it.

“The ring was only expensive because of all the customisations that he had made to it,” she clarified. “The jewel/material of the ring itself was not that expensive.”

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Which leads to the predicament. The woman explains that she is unsure if she should “suck it up and accept the old ring” or make her boyfriend purchase a new ring.

second hand engagement rings
The woman explains that she is unsure if she should "suck it up and accept the old ring" or make her boyfriend purchase a new ring. Image: Getty.

The post on Reddit attracted a lot of opinions, with most of the belief that she should not accept it.

One user responded to the post: "As a jeweller, I'd say keep the diamond, and reset it. A diamond is a diamond, and the mounting should be just for you. If you think the stones and metal aren't worth much, get yourself a new ring. That's gross, trying to give you a ring completely made for someone else. You'd look at that thing every day, and resent him for his cheapness."

Another person agreed, saying "If there's ever a time to throw out practicality and focus on a little romance, it's when it comes to your engagement ring."

Although the comments were overwhelmingly of the opinion that it was not unreasonable to ask the boyfriend for a new ring, there were still responses that said it's unnecessary to place so much importance on the engagement ring.

"My dad proposed to someone else who declined, then used the same ring for my mum... 47 years ago," shared a user. "They're still married and she still wears the ring. It is the marriage that matters. Not the ring."

What would you did if you were in this situation? Let us know in the comments section below!

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