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In years of teaching, I've heard one parenting regret more than any other.

The number of parents I've heard say, "I wish we never sent them to school early" is countless. The number who've told me they regret waiting until their child was a little older?

Zero.

And I include myself in that.

As both a primary school teacher and a parent, I'd like to unpack this debate from both sides of the fence.

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Has anyone else noticed there seems to be something of a competition at kinders, in online parenting groups, and in general chit-chat about school readiness? Across my own forums, parents are regularly asking about sending their kids to primary school before their fifth birthday.

Why are so many of us seemingly in such a rush to move our children on?

The potential reasons are layered and complex. But one of the most honest ones is financial due to the high costs of childcare. Primary school costs an average of about $500 per year, while some families are paying that per week in childcare fees.

I'll admit it was definitely tempting to save that money, as it undoubtedly is for many others.

I have since become a single parent and don't receive additional financial support. Would I, in that position, make the same decision to hold my daughter back? To be honest, I'm not entirely sure. The financial burden may have been too great.

There is no judgment from me for single parents who might choose early school to save on childcare costs. I get it.

In all my years in classrooms and conversations, no parent has ever wished for less time. Image: Canva.

The number one reason that comes up, though, is that the child seems ready.

This is where I'd ask parents to pause. As a teacher, "ready" is a word I'd interrogate carefully. It often means academically capable, bright, curious, maybe a little bored at kinder. But academic capability is only one piece of readiness, and arguably not the most important one.

My own daughter is born in mid-April. Technically, she could have gone to school aged four and 10 months. Academically and socially, she probably would have been okay. But I simply had an open conversation with her kinder teacher, extended her a little at home, and she thrived.

Many centres will be both understanding and accommodating when parents raise these concerns directly.

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So, what are the potential concerns with sending a child to school too early?

Some parents think giving their kids a head start at school will be fruitful academically, but the evidence is quite to the contrary. Research shows children who start school later may have an academic advantage further down the track.

The main concern, though, is that children will not have social and emotional readiness. These may relate to a range of areas including self-regulation, hygiene, forming friendships, resolving conflict and understanding social rules.

Beyond the evidence, there was something else I kept coming back to; childcare lets children be children for longer. In many ways, kinder is magical compared to school. Think unstructured play. Endless creativity. The curiosity of exploration. Child-led learning. Dress-ups. Finger painting. Snot slurping.

Why wouldn't I give my daughter an extra year of all that?

In all my years in classrooms and conversations, no parent has ever wished for less time. Only ever more.

Tal Slome is a single mother of two daughters. She is a primary school teacher by day and a freelance writer by night (if they let her and once they're in bed of course) based in Melbourne, Australia.

Feature Image: Supplied.