So, I did a thing. Well, doing. I’m doing a thing.
The thing is binge watching Scandal for the very first time, and it’s pretty much taken over my life.
If you’re here, you either:
A) Have no idea what I’m on about and are intrigued
B) Are here to judge me mercilessly because you, like most, discovered Scandal when it came out WAY BACK IN 2012. Or,
C) You are currently with me, up to your bloodshot, sleep deprived eye balls in Olivia Pope. Not in… OK you know what I mean.
It all started on a Sunday night two weeks ago, not unlike most Sunday nights. After unpacking my Uber Eats, I settled in for a long night of TV watching, only to realise I’d watched everything. And I mean, everything.
How? I hear you cry. Not possible. Well, it is. I watch a lot of TV, OK?
Faced with this uncertainty, I searched for a show I could dedicate the next two to three weeks of my life to. And that’s when I found it sitting in the ‘complete series’ section of Foxtel Now. Scandal.
Life is short, I thought. So I took a chance on the show, which the little blurb told me is a ‘politically charged drama’. And boy am I bloody glad I did, because it’s filling the void left by The Bachelorette and both seasons of Love Island verrrry nicely.
For those who aren't up-to-speed, Scandal follows the one and only Olivia Pope (played by the epic Kerry Washington) as she 'fixes' the scandals of Washington D.C's most powerful. The former White House Press Secretary and her band of 'gladiators' - lawyers, PR specialists and a former professional assassin (naturally) - solve problems for a living, but of course, aren't always the best at solving their own.
Oh, and Olivia is having an affair with the President of the United States, Fitzgerald Grant III.
The perfect combination of smart, suspenseful and trashy, I'm calling it - it is the most binge-worthy show ever.
For a show to be 'I watched five seasons in 72 hours' good, it needs have a precise combination of elements. And Scandal has them all.
Not convinced? Come, friend. Let us walk through the reasons why Scandal should be your next show:
The twists and turns
You never, ever know what's coming. Just when you think you know what's going to happen, this show slaps you silly and reminds you that it is the boss of your life, and it will decide when you get the happily ever after thanks very much.
Listen: Mia Freedman was also late to the Scandal party, but still two years ahead of me. Here's why she's obsessed with it below (post continues after audio...)
Like The Good Wife, Suits and pretty much any show involving politics and law, watching Scandal makes you feel smarter for watching it, which, let's be honest, isn't always the case with binge-worthy telly. *cough* Love Island.
Following the ins and outs of the White House, as well other messed up high-profile cases, they use terms like 'optics' and 'classified' that you can drop into your everyday conversation with ease.
The show also tackles issues like terrorism, democracy, race and feminism, making it more than a wishy-washy prime-time drama.
If all that talk of politics felt a bit, erm, dry, Olivia's love interests (yes, plural) should warm things up for you.
First, there's the irresistible combination of Olivia and Fitz, a relationship that should and could never work, but does despite the fact that he's you know, married with kids and has the most high-profile job in the world. The power dynamic between them shifts constantly, meaning you'll never feel 100 per cent certain how things will turn out for them.
But then, just when you're rooting (yeah, literally) for them to run off into the sunset together, an unexpected character comes in and throws a ginormous, and very buff, man-shaped spanner in the works.
If innuendo, forbidden love, sexual tension and a good ole love triangle float your boat, this is the show for you.
No, Scandal isn't Stranger Things or Black Mirror level scary. It's far from it.
But there is enough blood, gore, kidnappings, and even the odd dismembering or two, to keep action fans interested.
Olivia freaking Pope
There is not enough time in the world to describe how bloody great Olivia Pope is. But I'll give it a shot.
Olivia Pope is the woman literally every human being needs in her life. Not only does she have pretty much every powerful man in the government in the palm of her hand thanks to her ability to make all their problems go away, but she got there on her own.
A seriously bad arse boss lady, Olivia was one of the best strong, feminist leads on modern TV.
This is the woman who brought us such quotes as "I am not the girl the guy gets at the end of the movie. I am not a fantasy. If you want me, earn me!” and "It's okay to be afraid, sometimes fear keeps us safe, sometimes it holds us back". So wise, right?
As Trump would say she's great. Really great.
Go and start a one-month trial so you can binge it on Foxtel Now, like, NOW.