Roxy Jacenko kissed another man while she was married. The man was her ex boyfriend, Nabil Gazal and her husband Oliver Curtis, was in jail at the time. The fling – if you can call it that – was captured by prying paparazzi and covered breathlessly by the media.
Hold fire. Hold judgement. There’s more.
This week, in an interview with news.com.au Jacenko confirmed that at the time of the fling, she believed her marriage was over. “I’d spoken to a lawyer about divorce, and he knew that, I’d told him” she said, adding that she “didn’t think there was any hope” for their five year marriage to be saved. Even without the unimaginable pressure of a high profile insider trading case that dragged on for the duration of their marriage and culminated with Curtis being found guilty, even without the year long jail sentence he received, even without the breast cancer Jacenko was diagnosed with several months after Curtis was imprisoned, even without the constant attention that comes with being a celebrity, even without the demands of being a single mother of two, even without the financial pressure of running your own business… marriages fail.
Listen: Roxy Jacenko spoke to Mia Freedman while her husband was in jail. (Post continues…)
People fall out of love. Paths diverge. Wants and needs evolve and not always together. More than one in three Australian marriages end in divorce.
In most cases, infidelity is a symptom of an unhappy relationship not a cause of it, according to experts. Speaking to Psychology Tomorrow magazine, relationship and sex therapist Alyssa Siegel says, “Probably the most commonly cited cause of infidelity is a sense of emotional disconnection from a partner. The person committing the infidelity will often describe having felt unappreciated, lonely, and sad. These emotions can often lead to the secondary feelings of anger and resentment. Emotional roots can lead to affairs both emotional and physical in nature. An emotional affair may start off looking like a friendship, but over time the level of intimacy increases and more personal information, especially that relating to dissatisfaction and unhappiness in their primary relationship, can become an integral part of the dynamic. The ‘friend’ begins to take on the role as the partner, becoming a substitute in thoughts, plans, and fantasies.”
It happens. It happened to Roxy Jacenko who describes her marriage as ‘challenging’. That’s a fair description of any marriage, really. Even those far less fraught than hers. “We were at each other’s throats, so when he went for 12 months, I set up a life for myself and the children and that was it” she told news.com.au. “I thought that would be the end of it [marriage]. He [Ollie] knew that as well. He didn’t want his marriage to end, but he was aware of the circumstances and that it hadn’t been easy.”