By ROSIE WATERLAND
Gone With The Wind is one of those movies that’s always been on my list. But an epic saga of love set against the backdrop of the Civil War in America’s south… Well, it’s always been at the bottom of my list, to be honest.
Also, it was made in 1939 and is almost 4 hours long, so you can understand why I’ve been putting it off.
But, when you can make some popcorn and download it straight to your TV, it’s worth dedicating a night to. And (in a turn of events that surprised me more than anybody), I found myself really invested in this movie by the end. Maybe it has something to do with it being, you know, considered one of the greatest films of all time. Or the 87 Oscars it won.
Straight up: I had a great time watching this movie. And if you haven’t seen it yet, you really need to get on that immediately.
But I know it can be daunting. A four-hour classic? Yikes. Never fear! I wrote notes so I’d be able to walk you through it.
Here’s your simple, two-minute guide to Gone With The Wind:
Okay so it’s about this chick called Scarlett. She’s really rich and lives on this farm called Tara with her parents in America’s south.
All the dudes in town love her, but she’s all: “Whatever you guys. I only love Ashley.”
Ashley, of course, is engaged to another chick called Melanie. Scarlett’s all, “Why won’t you marry me?” And he’s all, “Because I love you, but you be crazy.” And she’s all, “But that’s why you love me!” And he’s all, “Nah – Melanie and I just fit together better.”
So Ashley marries Melanie and Scarlett is heartbroken.
Meanwhile, some dashing dude with a questionable mo falls in love with Scarlett. His name is Rhett. Rhett knows that Scarlett is crazy and selfish, but he loves her anyway because ROMANCE. He says he wants to be with her, but she’s all: “No thanks. Not interested. Only care about Ashley.”
Just as an FYI, this post is sponsored by Telstra. But all opinions expressed by the author are 100% authentic and written in their own words.
Then the civil war breaks out, and all the men go to fight in some place. Scarlett marries some random dweeb to make Ashley jealous, but it doesn’t work. The dweeb dies in the war like two seconds later.
Melanie spends this portion of the movie sighing and gasping about how much she misses Ashley, and Scarlett is just like: *eyeroll*
Rhett pops up randomly during this time to tell Scarlett he loves her, and she’s still just like, “Yeah no thanks. I love Ashley.” And Rhett’s like, “Can’t you see he’s married to Melanie?” and Scarlett’s like, “Whatevs – still into him.”
Melanie gets preggo to Ashley while he’s on leave for Christmas. She gives birth in Atlanta, where she and Scarlett have been nursing wounded soldiers. At that point Scarlett is like, “LET’S BAIL. Getting out of here.” So she finds Rhett, who because of how much he loves her, takes them all back to her farm, Tara. Then he goes to help with war… stuff.
Tara has basically gone to crap. Scarlett’s mum has died and her dad has gone crazy. There’s no food and no money. Scarlett’s all: “As God is my witness, I will fix all this and get really rich again.” Then she becomes a total superwoman and looks after everyone.