So we open – AGAIN – on the Girl Prisoners just hanging out in the Girl Mansion – AGAIN – speculating on who will be getting a date this week. AGAIN.
Seriously, remember when every episode used to open with the current Bachie looking out over various bodies of water while doing serious thinking? I MISS SERIOUS BEACH THINKING! What has happened? No budget to drive to the beach? Dickie Bach doesn’t have any thoughts to seriously think while shirtless?
I’m so over watching these girls talk and talk and taaaaaaaalk. Some brunette one, whose name is lost on me, is talking about her chances of staying. I feel bad that nobody’s told her she has brown hair and that scares Dickie Bach so she’s probs going asap.
Oshie comes. Hands out a date card. Rachel gets it. Same old shit.
Ugh - we know The Intruders are coming so can we PLEASE just skip ahead to that dramaaah?
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SINGLE DATE TIME!
Um… Wowsers. They’re spending the day on what looks like a boat they probably found in that junkyard from Making a Murderer. The little speed boat Rachel turned up in looks way safer. I would not be getting off that speedboat.
It’s meant to be a charming ‘tall ship', but really, it just looks like they didn’t have the damn cash to put this date on a super yacht. WOULD ONE LITTLE SUPER YACHT HAVE BEEN TOO MUCH TO ASK? I mean, seriously, ARE THEY JUST TROLLING US NOW:
They must be trolling us.
They couldn’t even be bothered to set up a proper Magic Sex Couch. It just looks like Dickie Bach and Rachel are sitting on a couple of buckets they plonked down on the deck, along with a random blanket. Someone really could not be fucked this week: