Alright people, episode 4. LET’S DO THIS.
Oh how Laid Back and Cool. We open on Totally Laid Back Cool Girl Heather sitting in the sunshine and sketching in a hipster notebook. I bet she’s drawing sneaky peens to show Bachie Wood that she can just ‘hang’ and be ‘fun’ etc etc etc. Ahhh, I see. She’s planning her date. For those not up to speed – Totally Laid Back Cool Girl Heather was deemed worthy of the WHITE ROSE back in the first episode, which means she now has permission to take Bachie Wood on a date of her choosing (#girlpower yay!).
I’m kind of hoping that she just plans a wedding date and locks this whole thing down today. That, or locks him in a secret sex den where she can manufacture Bachie Wood Pube Loofahs for eternity.
She ‘sneaks’ off to find her man, and Oshie’s hair comes in to break the news to the other ladies.
HOLD. THE FUCK. UP.
Looks like Oshie was feeling some serious emotions last night. Some serious hair jealousy emotions. It must be making him uncomfortable that Bachie Wood is a legit competitor in the glorious locks department, so today he isn’t taking any chances. He just turned up in the most brilliant Oshie shirt I’ve ever seen:
DAAAAAYYYYYUM SIR! Look at that orange glow! Look at that suave ‘I make this look gooood’ face. I knew Queen Sully wouldn’t risk her most valuable asset looking like a #basicbitch! She really made sure he was bringing it before she let him out of the Channel Ten dungeon today. Your move, Bachie Wood.
Totally Laid Back Cool Girl Heather’s Totally Laid Back and Cool Date:
So she turns up at Bachie Wood’s Bachie Pad, and there’s much “Oh I’m so surprised!/I definitely did not expect to see you today!/This definitely hasn’t been on the production schedule for weeks!” etc etc etc.
Missed a recap? Catch up here.
Obligatory ‘LOOK HOW NATURAL THIS IS’ routine out of the way, we’re presented with what feels like 15 straight minutes of the two of them driving around in a NISSAN CAR because I think NISSAN must be paying some money to feature their fancy NISSAN CAR and look how NISSAN smoothly it glides and how great NISSAN are those sleek interiors? NISSAN.