lifestyle

Vacuums are attacking. TVs can hear us. This is the end.

A Roomba attacked a woman in her sleep. Samsung TVs are recording our private conversations. Nek minit: JUDGEMENT DAY.

Two different machines have betrayed humans this week.

First, there was the woman who woke up to her Roomba vacuum attacking her head and ripping out her hair. To be fair, she was sleeping on the carpet, but still:

WHEN VACUUMS ATTACK.

Then came the news that Samsung Smart TVs are LISTENING TO and RECORDING our conversations.

Someone spotted the sneaky truth-bomb on the Samsung Privacy Policy page, and it pretty clearly states that your TV is eavesdropping on all your secrets:

“Samsung may collect and your device may capture voice commands and associated texts so that we can provide you with Voice Recognition features and evaluate and improve the features.”

Fair enough. But then, THE KICKER:

“Please be aware that if your spoken words include personal or other sensitive information, that information will be among the data captured and transmitted to a third party through your use of Voice Recognition.”

THEY’RE LISTENING.

So. A vacuum attacked a woman. TVs are listening to our secrets. Basically, the machines are turning against us. There is only one logical next step:

The end.

Allow us to break this down into a simple formula:

You’ve been warned.

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