dating

The proposal that was so bad, a committed woman was forced to say no.

Ah, Reddit. The source of all our comedy and unlikely situational happenings.

This time on the threads, the topic of conversation was engagements, or rather one specific user’s potential engagement.

Posting to the relationships section on Tuesday, marrymonay wrote about her boyfriend’s recent proposal.

“We’ve been together for 3.5 great years,” marrymonay began.

“We’ve frequently discussed marriage, timelines, and future plans. We live in a home together, have moved across the country together, ect [sic]. He is the person I plan to spend my life with. He knows I don’t like surprises, so I never expected a big proposal or anything.

“But, the way he has gone about it has hurt my feelings.”

Engagement ring or spreadsheet. You decide. Source: iStock.

 Cue holding your breathe and a revelation sure to make the heart rates of ardent budgeters rise.

"He sat me down with a spreadsheet he made of all the financial benefits of getting married and asked me if I wanted to," marrymonay wrote.

Yep, a big old 'will you take this spreadsheet and be the other half to my retirement scheme' proposal.

ADVERTISEMENT

But wait, there's more. (Of course there's more, there's always more).

"He even broke it down into a dollar amount each month that I'm "worth". We aren't hurting for money, it's not a solution to a problem. Idk [I don't know] what made him think that's how you go about ask someone to marry you."

marrymonay's boyfriend was her by her refusal of his proposal. Source: iStock.

At this point, it's probably worth adding that her boyfriend, now possibly fiancee is a military man. So routine, order and fiscal responsibility probably get him hot under the collar.

But regiment aside, it's easy to understand why marrymonay was less than trilled, sharing with Reddit users that her answer was "no", telling him that she wasn't ready for such a commitment, romantic or otherwise.

The response was one that "upset him and hurt his feelings," marrymonay wrote, before adding, "But the reality is I am ready, I just don't want to feel like someone is marrying me for financial benefit. I know him and know that he isn't only asking becuase [sic] of that, but I can't shake the feeling that he ruined the whole idea of getting married for me."

ADVERTISEMENT

Will there be another proposal? Will marrymonay be married? Source: iStock.

Even if you're not after a grand gesture proposal or the "fairytale" wedding that will set you back tens of thousands of dollars, asking someone to be your legally recognised parter for life is a big deal. And wanting more than a spreadsheet seems more than reasonable.

"Even if he redoes a proposal I'm afraid I will still feel that way, and that I'll walk down the isle feeling that way. And now he is sad too because I rejected his "proposal".

"Any ideas on how we can remedy this or what I can say to him to make him understand?" marrymonay asked finally.

In an edit later added to the post, marrymonay clarified that she had taken the time to explain how she felt to her partner, but told Reddit users that "he thinks that if I wanted to marry him and be with him I would have said yes regardless of the proposal. I can't get him to understand how much his actions hurt my feelings."

How to say yes while saying no. It's the greatest question of our time.