'My mother accidentally sent me a 27-minute voice memo. I heard every word she said about me.'

"She spat out the words like they were vile to her."

After receiving a 27-minute voice recording from her mum, one woman poured herself a coffee and pressed play. What she heard next changed her opinion of her mother forever.

Let's start at the beginning.

Last Christmas, after she was physically threatened by her dad, the woman in question told her parents she would only see them with a neutral mediator present. They refused, so she limited the amount of contact between them. It was only when her cousin organised a surprise party for her aunt that she and her mum began speaking again.

"We specifically talked about my job and how I am super stressed on a big deadline right now," the woman wrote on the sub-reddit r/raisedbynarcissists.

During the conversation, her mum asked if she wanted her to "bring some boxes of (her) things to the party". The woman said no due to the small size of her apartment.

One day before the party, she was in an important work meeting when her mum texted her about the boxes again, asking if she could organise a storage unit. The woman told her that she would respond after the meeting.

"(My mum) said, 'fine, see you there,' meaning the party. I texted back, 'I said I can talk after work, but fine, see you there'."

The mum retorted: "Well, maybe you shouldn't come then."

With her work deadline a source of stress, the reddit user decided she would rather "stay home and be despised" than "drive five hours for an uncomfortable time and probable fight".

"I texted (my mum) and said, 'I'm not coming to the party, I want this to be a great time for aunt, so please try to make it a good and happy time for her and everyone."

Here's where things get wild.

Later that evening, the woman received a voice recording from her mother.

"My mother is not super tech savvy, so at this point in time I'm ASSUMING she accidentally hit the microphone button, which recorded for 27 minutes, and then it arrived in my text as a voice message," the woman wrote.

Even though her relationship with her parents is "tenuous at best," the reddit user confessed she missed being around her extended family. Figuring they were all having coffee in her uncle's kitchen, she made herself one to virtually join the conversation.

"About four minutes in, my mum started a snide side convo with my uncle, reading my texts, talking about me," the woman recalled. "They both said it was better I wasn't coming, or else she'd have to worry about me all day while I was driving. They sounded disgusted and my uncle said I was crazy and needed to talk to someone. (Meanwhile I do actually talk to someone and my mother refuses to do so with me)."

Her mother proceeded to read the messages to the entire group.

"She disparaged me and devalued me," the woman continued. "She talked sh*t about me, called me names, used some colourful adjectives, made jokes about me being immature — they all laughed.

"She didn't say one nice or neutral thing. She basically was like 'my daughter is a piece of sh*t' but used more and different words. Her tone throughout was so dark and crass by the way. She spat out the words like they were vile to her."

Realising she had sent a voice recording by mistake, her mother followed it up with a text. "Sorry, didn't mean to send that."

The woman replied: "I listened to the message because I wanted to feel like I was there too. I heard everything you all said about me."

Her mother explained that the message wasn't showing on her side anymore and she didn't remember what she said.

"I hadn't heard my mother talk about me in public. To extended family or strangers," the reddit user added. "It was very eye opening to hear her devalue me like that, to others. If a 'friend' did this, I would literally never speak to them again.

"She is obviously trying to act like she is allowed to talk sh*t on me, and is going to try to gloss over. But if I did that to HER — please. It would be like the world was literally ending."

She then asked others what they would do in her situation. Overwhelmingly, the response from reddit users was for the woman to cut her mother off entirely.

"Every time she texts, respond with 'I am no longer responding to your texts because I know you will read my texts to groups of people in order to ridicule me. Since you have never apologised, I know you will do it again,'" one user advised. 

"That is terrible and I'm so sorry you've had to go through this," another added. "I agree with others recommending no contact."

"Facing the reality of what people we considered close to us showing who they really are can be hard as hell," a third wrote, before sharing their own experience. "I spent way too much of my life trying to make my family proud of me until I finally realised that nothing I ever did would make them proud because they did not care." 

"When people show you who they are, believe them," another quoted from American poet Maya Angelou.

The original reddit post has been edited for length and clarity.