We hear it time and time again. Whether it’s celebs, your friends, colleagues or your sister’s husband’s friend’s cousin, they all divorce due to ‘irreconcilable differences’. Or, ‘conscious uncoupling’ as Gwyneth Paltrow likes to put it.
Yet, if you’re close with one half of the couple, you’re bound to know the real reason.
A reddit thread recently asked couples who had divorced after five or more years together, the real reason for their divorce. From a secret cocaine habit to sleeping with other people, there was definitely no holding back.
“I quit drinking, she said I wasn’t fun anymore. I’ve tried to fix it, didn’t work out,” reddit user, fancyfire said.
Others chimed in with similar experiences, “This is the exact situation I’m going through right now. I got sober 18 months ago and she isn’t happy because I’m not the person she married. Honestly the person she married was a total wreck,” Cat-In-The-Furnace said.
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Bakcha’s wife even tried to sabotage his health to save their marriage, “My wife knew that drinking was a problem and that I was going to counseling to fix it. She started buying me beer for the house and ordering drinks for me when we went out. I could not get her to understand the damage she was doing. Be aware that quitting is the best thing you can do but that it also changes the dynamics of your relationships.”
On the flip side, alcohol dependency was also a major deal breaker.
“When your wife is a dishonest and unfaithful alcoholic, it’s time to move on. You can’t fix a problem when the person with the problem isn’t willing to admit that a problem exists,” user Pr0ducer said.
Some users said the reason was their partner sleeping with other people.
Shapeofthings said, ‘We were married for two years. There were constant declarations of love and passion, but occasional aggressive outbursts. I found out she was sleeping with a series of other guys and had a coke habit.’
"Said she didn't want to have sex. Turns out, she didn't want to have sex with me," Ohsojayadeva said.
"She cheated, I found out, we tried to reconcile only for her to quit on me when I got fired. She would still possibly have been with me had I not lost that job," user Tennis_ added.
Some couples just couldn't stop fighting.
"We got to the point where we fought everyday. We each knew what to say to hurt the other and both of us were vicious in our verbal attacks towards the other. All we ever did was argue and more and more often it turned in to a yelling match," Quadsimotto said.
Yet, what the community could agree on was divorce takes it's toll.
"She divorced me, once her high school boyfriend was single again. I was used up, and that was that. I spent 2 years, dead broke and missing my kids most of the time. I was broken, my nerves were shattered," Halafax said.
Some people simply change their tune:
"Dated for six years, married 10 years. She had an affair with a female client of hers (she was a therapist). Came out as gay," Jabez77 said.
Some couples simply grew apart.
"Met at 15, 1st child at 19, married at 20, divorced at 30. We honestly just grew apart. As we got older, we started enjoying spending time with our friends over spending time with each other. Kids and work and life got in the way," HailCorduroy said.
"Could we have fixed it? Yes, more than likely."
Why did you and your spouse get a divorce? Let us know in the comments.