I woke up one morning and decided to leave my husband.
It wasn’t a decision that came gradually: I literally woke up and thought, “I’m leaving.” It hit me like a tonne of bricks. I couldn’t get out of bed that morning; the weight of the sudden realisation that I had to end things wiped me out.
The decision wasn’t suddenly triggered by anything. We had been happily married for two thirds of our time together, intensely unhappy for the last third, but trying to make it work. We had been in counselling. And then, ‘out of the blue’, as they say, I knew I had to leave.
Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan were meant to be #couplegoals, but they’ve just broken up. So are couple goals bullsh*t asks the Out Loud team?
This is how out of the blue it was for me:
The night before: “still working on it.”
The next morning: “I have to end this.”
My family and friends were surprised things were finishing so abruptly. But in lots of ways, so was I.
So to be accused by some of them of being disingenuous – of faking my marriage by not openly talking about our troubles that were no-one’s business while we worked on them – felt particularly unhelpful at such a stressful time.
Because the fact of matter is, if you’d asked me the night before, I would have told you I loved my husband.
That’s what I genuinely believed until that fateful morning. That’s why I was spending time and money in counselling for months, trying to get him to commit to date nights so we could talk without the baby around, using all of my spare energy to keep our marriage from falling apart.
Because I really thought I loved him; right up until the time I realised I didn’t.
Anna Faris received a lot of backlash to her announcement, because, by her own admission, on social media she had carefully curated the image of a perfect marriage.
“Chris and I did talk about [the public’s reaction]. We got, like on the Twitter feed, ‘Love is dead’ and ‘Relationship goals.’ It was like ‘People seem to think we got all this sh*t all right.’ I had a little bit of a childish feeling of ‘Oh come on, f*cking grow up’ — a little anger [about it],” Faris told Dax Shepard on his podcast, Armchair Expert.