I know what’s running through your mind right now.
'Why would you read your boyfriend’s messages without his permission!? What about trusting your partner?'
Yes, I know it was wrong, and I am ashamed of my behaviour to this day. My only answer to you is — because I had a feeling. After months of ignoring that feeling, I had to acknowledge it. And that’s what I did.
Watch: Relationship deal breakers. Post continues below.
You can say having a feeling still does not justify my actions. I agree. But acting on that feeling was the best thing I did.
Trust and privacy have always been an essential thing for me in my relationship. Never check your partner’s phone — it is my golden rule. I wouldn’t be happy if my boyfriend read my messages without my knowledge. So I wouldn’t ever do that to him either. I didn’t have to resort to such behavior because I trusted him, right?
Four years into my relationship, I broke my golden rule.
It was a choice between a gut feeling and my faith in him. I chose my instinct that day.
Our fourth Valentine’s Day together.
For our fourth V-Day, we went clubbing along with a few friends of his. Friends I had never met before. I sat at our table, the music blasting in my ear, watching drunk people fall on each other. He leaned in towards me and said he was going to get more drinks. I nodded my head as I continued sipping my whiskey.
As soon as he left, one girl asked, 'So what did you get him for Valentine’s day?'
'Um, I got him shoes,' I said. After four years, I had already given him all the gifts I could think of — What do you gift a person who has everything he needs, anyway?
'Oh nice, and what did he get you?' she pressed on.
'He didn’t get me anything.' I said awkwardly. I barely knew this girl, and I wasn’t happy about being asked questions I considered were none of her business.
'What? He didn’t get you anything for your first Valentine’s together? Why would you let him get away with it?' she asked incredulously.