I saw a sign in my neighbourhood today.

Outside an op shop, it read:

Please do not leave goods outside. We have “cameras” and you will be “fined” by the “council”.

Fortunately, their imaginary cameras didn’t catch me. “Phew.”

GRAMMAR NERDS; prepare yourselves. This will be painful. And “fun”:

15 times quotation marks were “pointless”.

1. So, do I eat it? I should probably eat it.

Reddit @Zek0ne

2. A man received this on his first day of work. Good for his “morale”.

Reddit @missliza

3. I’m not sure I want to put these in my ears any more.

Reddit @MrBran4

4. Close enough. It’s not the size that counts, anyway…

Reddit @Guelph35

5. I think I’ll use “someone else”.

Reddit @Manofaction42

6. Do I have to go? Or is this one the same as our other “meetings”?

Reddit @hecker23

7. No thanks.

Reddit @ReckoningGotham

8. This was in a restaurant bathroom, where they like to keep up appearances.

Reddit @noneofyourbiness

9. Does BBC News know something? IS SNAPE JUST HIDING?

Reddit @cobra1975

10. Okay, okay, you got us. It’s raw vegetables.

Reddit @putty1555

11. You call them “children”, we call them “devils”.

Reddit: @ratsb1000

12. What the hell has even happened here?

Reddit: @Miccles

13. Mmmm. I think I’ll pass.

Reddit @metaplexico

14. Australia, China, Iceland what’s the diff?

Reddit @ginganinja

15. This is a sign from a retirement home. Security is “tight”. (Also, no time to write ‘building’, because we have shit to do here, aight?)

Reddit @howgreatwouldyoube

“Good work”, everyone! So close, yet so far.