My name is Ruchi Page, and I am adopted from Calcutta, India.
Although the process was planned, my arrival date was not, so I surprisingly arrived in Melbourne on Christmas day, 1993 at the ripe age of four months old and continued to be raised in Australia.
My Aussie family saturated me with love, generosity and values which filled my life with support and opportunity.
Watch: Parents describe what led them to adopt. Post continues below.
To be honest, I don’t know my life any other way. Makes sense right? But from childhood to adulthood my adoption story (or ‘how did I get here’ explanation) would unfold through conversations and seemed to astonish/confuse many faces.
I can confidently confirm that each time I have either been asked about my origin or explained my adoption, the following five questions have been asked in this exact order.
Here’s what I want you to know, as an adopted person.
1. “Do you know your real parents?”
Yes I do, my parents raised me here in Australia. My biological parents however, are unknown and I have minimal to zero information on their details.
This can vary, as some adopted people have access to every ounce of information but in my case, nada. Some may find this strange, but I am okay with the lack of information.
Listen: When Andrew Met Anne: A son's story of adoption. Post continues below.
Of course it would be other-worldly to simply know my biological mother and fathers’ names, age, appearances, etc. It would be magical, really. But my identity has been shaped by good people which consequently left me feeling whole.
I always understand the intention behind this question, however at times it can be asked through a distorted lens; as though my adoptive parents are not as capable to fit the parental role because our bloodline doesn’t match.
So, in short: yep my real parents are the ones that raised me but my biological parents are unknown.
2. “I’m sorry, are you okay?”
I am absolutely okay. Nothing bad happened, in fact in my case only great things happened. I have another shot at life in a country that gives so much. Keep in mind, my experience has been positive, but this is not the same for every adopted person.