celebrity

Enough. We know exactly why Prince Harry rolled his eyes at Meghan Markle.

This week, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle left the house.

It’s true. They did.

On Monday, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex ventured out to Birkenhead to unveil a statue, before greeting commoners at Hamilton Square. Then, on Wednesday night, the royal couple went to the Cirque du Soleil premiere of ‘TOTEM’ at Royal Albert Hall.

A few days later, footage of the couple watching the performance surfaced online, showing Prince Harry offering Meghan his hand, and her grabbing onto it for dear life and saying “thank you”.

Some called it the ultimate public display of affection. And many, many others pointed out how Prince Harry appeared to have rolled his eyes after Meghan took his hand.

The video caused a tabloid media frenzy, because January is a notoriously boring time for royal watchers and there was nothing better to report on that day.

Trouble in paradise. Feel the tension. ARE HARRY AND MEGHAN FIGHTING AND IS IT KATE MIDDLETON’S FAULT?

But guys. We think we know what happened here. As always, there was surely a rational explanation for why Prince Harry seemingly rolled his eyes after his wife took his hand, and why he looked so miserable.

It’s simple, really. Obviously, one (or all) of the following scenarios explain everything.

1. Prince Harry was constipated.

Sorry to be crude, but this is the face of constipation.

prince-harry
Stay cool. STAY COOL. Image: Getty.
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prince-harry-meghan
Just keep distracted, don't think about it. Image: Getty.
meghan-prince-harry
Guess it's those natural laxatives Meghan keeps in the cupboard for me when we get home. Image: Getty.

You know, when you've felt like you needed to evacuate all day but every time you sit on the loo, nothing happens.

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It's bloody painful. You look up to the sky, willing a higher power to bless your bowels with sweet relief. You grab onto your partner's hand for support, much like a woman might grab her partner's hand to get through labour. Yes, labour is described as the most painful experience on earth, but that doesn't diminish the uncomfortable-ness of constipation.

2. Meghan just let out a pregnancy fart.

There's no way around it. Hormones eff up your bowels.

Yeah, we're still talking about bowels because Meghan letting out a smelly fart does seem to fit with the video footage of the moment.

Harry: "Oh, Christ. Meghan, really?"

Meghan: "It was the baby."

Harry: "You can't say that every time babe."

Meghan: "I can because I'm the one that will push this baby out of my vagina."

Harry: "Yes, sorry honey. Won't do it again. Here, take my hand, would you?"

It fits, right?

3. Meghan asked Harry to remove her 'yoni egg'.

Wanna know what the heck a yoni egg is? Mamamia Out Loud has you covered, get it in your ears below to find out what a yoni egg is and why someone else other than... you would have to remove one for you. Post continues after audio.

Imagine this.

You're six months pregnant and your libido is through the roof.

While binge watching The Bold Type on Stan, you hear about this thing called a yoni egg that's meant to help you have orgasms, so you ask your royal bodyguard to go to the shops and grab you one.

He quits the next day, but that's life.

For a kick, you decide to wear the yoni egg out to one of your royal engagements. No-one will know, but you chuck on a statement red coat and heels with a bright purple dress to keep the people preoccupied.

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THEY KNOW NOTHING. Image: Getty.
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Then, two days later, while you're in the ladies at Royal Albert Hall in a $6,000 dress, you remember the yoni egg. After trying to get it out, you realise it's stuck.

"HAAAAARRRRRYYYYYYYYYY."

Locating and removing a yoni egg is great practice for the birth, but it's also not what you want to be doing 30 seconds before you're due to look happy in front of the entire world.

Especially not when the yoni egg looks a lot like the paper weight your nan picked up and admired when she last came over...

4. Harry thought they were there to watch an advanced screening of the new James Bond movie.

Perhaps Harry legitimately thought they were going to see an advanced screening of the new James Bond, and when an acrobat came out and started climbing up a pole with just their pinky toes, he realised he'd been royally stitched up.

5. The Queen noticed Meghan was wearing open-toed shoes.

Moments before the royal couple were introduced, Harry felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

NAN: I can see her toes.

NAN: Harry u said she didn't like stilettos, u know the rules, no toes.

NAN: I can't keep bending the rulez for u. LOVE NAN XOXOX

Then, the couple had to stand up and smile and wave at everyone like nothing happened. Harry knew this text was coming because Meghan decided to wear sexy open-toed stilettos instead of her pointy ones and showing toes is against royal protocol.

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SUCK MY TOES, LIZ. Image: Getty.

Meghan: "She knows, doesn't she?"

Harry: "Here, take my hand, it'll be OK."

Meghan: "I just wanted to show off my pedicure this once coz my feet are so swollen at the moment and it's really affecting my confidence, I just want to feel seen."

Harry: "I know sweetie, I'll handle Liz."

See? Rational, realistic explanations.

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