This article originally appeared on the Mamamia Out Loud Substack. You can subscribe, here.

William weighed in (sorta).

Princess Kate (I'm so sorry, she will always be Kate to us) wore glorious recycled Gucci to the BAFTAS and nobody cared because they were too busy shouting, "But is this crisis going to topple the monarchy?" and "What did your Dad know?" at her husband, that Prince William. He referenced it only in interpretative dance.

"Have you watched Hamnet?" a non-shouting journo asked. "No," he answered, "I need to be in quite a calm state and I am not at the moment. I will save it." Fair. Hamnet is harrowing. Almost as harrowing as that photo of his uncle lying down in the back of the car.

This could be the end of everything.

Credible sources are using the "A" word around King Charles. Yes, abdication. You see, it's becoming more and more apparent that the former Prince Andrew was protected and bailed out by his family for decades. Fending off complaints, legal pressure and, in the case of Virginia Giuffre, bankrolling a pay-out of his accuser.

The public is in no mood to excuse it, and if the crisis continues to build – and we should expect it to — Charles is facing ugly questions about who knew what, when. No one has patience for a discreet royal silence any more. Meanwhile, Not Calm Prince William isn't directly implicated in this mess and a faster-than-expected handover of power might be the smartest way to force a clean slate. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but Wills' vision of what they call the "pushbike monarchy" — paired back, riding around like our Mary on a pushie — could be ushered in within the decade.

Prince Andrew. Image: Getty.

Albo entered the chat.

Yup, our Albo.

The British Prime Minister, Kier Starmer, is trying to figure out if there's a law he can pass to specifically remove Andrew from the line of royal succession. Because even though he has lost his title, he is still officially eighth in line to the throne. Which means that if Charles passed, and then something terrible happened to Prince William, George, Charlotte and Louis, Prince Harry, Archie and Lillibet, he would be up. This is not something anyone wants to think about for obvious reasons, but Prime Minister Anthony Albanese jumped in with both feet and wrote a letter to his British counterpart saying he wants Andrew off that list, too.

"I am writing to confirm that my government would agree to any proposal to remove him from the line of royal succession," Albo writes, "These are grave allegations and Australians take them seriously."

Everyone's looking for Sarah…

And she's in rehab. Well, maybe not now, but Andrew's ex-wife, the best mate and fellow star of the Epstein-files, Sarah "Fergie" Ferguson spent most of January in a Swiss clinic.

We know this for two reasons. One, she hasn't been seen in the UK since September, so every journo in Britain has been trying to track her down (the Daily Mail did it). And two, Paracelsus is one of the world's most expensive clinics and to help cover costs, she's been making some spon-con videos for them. Yup, Sarah's always cutting coupons to save a penny.

Listen to Royal biographer Andrew Lownie confirm the speculation onThe Quicky. Post continues below.

Just call us Beatrice and Eugenie.

Two grown women thrown under a London bus by their parents' poor choices, Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie, are under a lot of pressure. A strong suggestion for how to escape the thickening crisis quicksand is that they get on the front-foot and hand back their HRHs.

Famously, Andrew's sister Princess Anne never wanted her kids to have royal titles and all the spotlight and fanfare that goes along with them, but Andrew most certainly did. Now the question is: if your Dad is no longer a Prince, are you two even still Princesses though?

No word from Harry & Meghan's kitchen.

The silence from Montecito is deafening. But oh, to be a fly on the kitchen wall as Megs is fixing flower-sprinkled rosé spritzes and reminding her husband that she married into a family who were more bothered by a mixed-race Duchess than by a Duke accused of sexual misconduct. And a sympathetic Harry will nonetheless be countering with the fact that at least the Brits have now taken action on a powerful man implicated in the Epstein files. Unlike, you know, the Americans.

This article originally appeared on the Mamamia Out Loud Substack. You can subscribe, here.

Feature image: Getty.