It's the moment we've all been waiting for (well, besides January 1, 2021): United States presidential debate time.
What greater way is there to spend 90 minutes than by watching two men with invariably differing views and zero respect for each other debate about issues that will deeply impact hundreds of millions of people, while they remain rich and powerful no matter the outcome?
I, for one, simply can't imagine anything better. Except perhaps skipping the debate and allowing an extremely unqualified woman in Australia to tell you about it.
HELLO, YES, THAT'S ME. WELCOME!
It's 10.55am and I've just gathered all the snacks I could find. I'm going to need them for this... clusterf***. It hasn't begun, and I'm already claiming this is a mess. Feels like a safe bet.
OH, CRAP. I've got an entire, intact TimTim in my mouth when Mr Fox News Moderator Man appears.
Hello, sir, you certainly pulled the short straw, didn't you?
He says the candidates won't shake hands because of that pesky pandemic thing, which is very convenient because THEY HATE EACH OTHER.
The small, mask-wearing crowd aren't allowed to cheer or boo either.