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"I never wanted to be pregnant with a girl."

 

Almost every woman I know wishes to be pregnant with a baby girl.

I regularly read stories about how women travel to the United States and take out a second mortgage, all to ensure they give birth to a daughter.

Women who go for the third child, hoping it will be a little girl after two sons.

Read more: How to influence the gender of your baby.

There is nothing wrong with these women. It’s just that for a long time, I felt very alone in not wanting to ever be pregnant with a girl. In some ways, I still don’t.

Before your blood starts boiling, let me explain.

When I found out I was pregnant, every thought I’ve ever had about what gender baby I wanted disappeared. People would ask me what I was hoping for. They didn’t believe me when I said I didn’t mind. But I genuinely just wanted a healthy baby.

Avi's 20 week bump. Image via Instagram.

When I found out that I was pregnant with a girl, I wasn't disappointed. I was happy. I was ecstatic. Not because I was pregnant with a girl. But because the same result said she was healthy. And yes, I started thinking of all the pink and glitter.

But before I fell pregnant, I only wanted boys.

Not because I particularly like baby boys more than baby girls.

I just don't think the world is the best place for girls at the moment.

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My pessimist mind has me convinced that by the time my daughter grows up... there won't be much change from today.

I'm talking about the issues girls and women face.

The fact that women are more likely to suffer domestic violence. Despite funding and attention going towards reducing this, I don't see it gone by the time my daughter marries.

How when a woman is attacked everyone's first question is what she was doing to get attacked. Did she have earphones in blasting music? Was she walking alone? Did she wear a pony tail (apparently, easier to pull than a bun - insert eye roll)? We are still talking about changing the conversation from victim blaming to just stopping some men's thinking that they have a right to attack any woman of their choosing.

Cat-calling. Because there is nothing more self-esteem boosting than a complete stranger yelling at you on the street about how much they want you.

The too many photos of high-powered people...mainly men...with one woman in it. Giving a clear example of how the world sees leaders. Or that we think it is ah-mazing when a woman makes it as CEO or President. Why is this amazing? Why isn't this just normal?

Tony Abbott's first ministry, with a grand total of ONE in cabinet, at Government House in 2013. Image via Getty.
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The fact that when you reach a certain age in your career, people will start wondering if they really should be investing time and effort in you. After all, you are highly likely to fall pregnant and no longer care about your career.

Or even the fact that our male peers get paid more than us. Simply for having a penis.

That tampons have a tax on them because they are considered a luxury item.

How sport for girls and women is seen as a way to keep fit (and skinny) more so than to compete at a competitive level. Nobody wants to watch woman's sport - haven't you heard?

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And don't even get me started on the statistics of child abuse, rape and violence against at women.

These are just a few. I could keep going but you know them all. I'm preaching to the choir, right?

I know what you are thinking. In 20 years, everything will be so different. In 20 years, when my daughter is an adult, the issues us women face won't be around. They will be in history books.

I don't want to be a Debbie Downer but I know women have been fighting these issues for decades. The same issues my generation is fighting today have been fought by generations before us. While there has been some progress... the issues are still here. They haven't gone.

We are still fighting. That's what worries me. That my daughter will have to fight those issues as a young women. Or worse, that she will be subjected to any of it at some point in her life.

Avi's ultrasound. Image via Instagram.

To my daughter, I'm sorry the world you are coming into isn't the world I hoped you would be entering.

I pray that in 20 years you are sitting across the table from me at dinner. Rolling your eyes and telling me, "Oh my God mum, you are so old fashioned. That's not how it is anymore."

What do you fear for your daughter in today's world?