“Do they touch “it” a lot?”
So you are growing a penis inside you? You never really thought about it that way did you? But you are.
It doesn’t get better than that. Your little guy is going to smother you with delicious all-consuming-heart-stopping love.
You will weep with the overflow of love you feel for him, but at the same time no-one can blame you if you feel a little bewildered.
After all, we are girls right?
We are good at distinguishing Malibu Barbie from Skipper. We are good at remembering the names of Peppa Pig’s friends and knowing exactly which Kardashian is which.
But boys stuff? Well that’s a whole different ball-game (as those blokes would say).
I have two delightful brown-eyed boys. They are, at times, needy with their compulsion to cuddle me and touch me. They are loving and caring and cheeky and delightful. They adore their baby sister and they see their number one priority in life to look after her. But they were also, once, a world unnavigated.
Now I have two, I am seen as world expert at boys in my circle of friends. And as such, I am bombarded with questions from mums to be of boys about just how the F they are going to deal with this new landscape.
Some of the craziest things I’ve been asked include:
1. Will I have to lift his "thing" when I wash him?
Yeah probably but the screaming when you put him in water is going to bug you more. Not to mention when he pees in your face.
2. What do you call his bits?
Whatever you feel comfortable with. The fact you asked makes me inclined to advise you towards pee-pee or wee-wee but by the time they hit second grade it’s going to be ‘nuts’ and ‘willy’ so enjoy the first few years.
3. Oh god, do I now have to actually WATCH Star Wars?
You actually haven’t? How have you ever appreciated all those “force be with you” gags?