This mum found out a big surprise. But Internet mums came to the rescue.
Sometimes, getting pregnant isn’t on the to-do list.
Sometimes, our ‘life plan’ doesn’t involve babies. Now. Or sometimes ever.
But sometimes, it just happens.
I’m kind of in shock, I think. I never really wanted to have kids. I’m married, but we have been planning for grand overseas adventures, not babies. We both work full time but I bring in a bit more money.
I’ve been feeling waves of nausea the last few days, not sleeping well, and was a few days late. Today I brought it up with my husband. We were lying on our bed and I kept wondering how I would say it. I kept thinking that once I told him, our lives were going to change drastically. I was clammy and anxious and finally blurted out that I had a suspicion about it. I shed a few tears while he processed it.
We went and bought a pregnancy test and used it right away. It feels like I barely had to wait for it to come up on the screen. So now, I’m just not sure what I’m meant to do. I’m thinking about the dumbest things, like what if it’s a girl and everyone gives her baby dolls and pink everything?
The only baby-positive thing I can really think about right now is to paint one of the spare rooms a pretty sage green colour. I don’t know how to show up at my kinda stressful job and act normal. How do I act normal with a weird little cluster of cells multiplying inside me as I type this?
Anyway. I needed to vent, so here we are. But I’m also sorely in need of advice.
She later clarified that the advice she was after was what to do now that she knew. What’s next in the pregnancy to-do list (because she’d never even thought about it).
And the comments she received just got lovelier and lovelier.
One user responded with:
“First of all, congratulations! Get a dating ultrasound done ASAP, between 5 and 12 weeks is ideal. This way you can get an accurate due date. Decide who you will be using as your prenatal care provider, based on what kind of birth you want to have. I went with a rotating group of midwives and delivered at a local birth center. Start taking vitamins, cutting back on caffeine, and get some healthy eating habits in place before the nausea hits. Wait until 12 weeks to tell anyone you wouldn’t want to talk to about a miscarriage, but tell your support network whenever you feel the desire.”
“Just take a moment to breathe and relax first. To handle the stress, just act as though things are normal at work. Just do your job. Make sure you’re taking a lunch break to get nutrition, but as of now, I don’t think you need to make any drastic changes unless your job involves dangerous chemicals, rigorous physical work, etc.”
“You have some time to get used to things, and of course there will be changes in your life, but it’s not all about giving your life up. You give up some stuff, reschedule others, and you gain a whole heap of fabulous stuff. Life will be so lovely.”
“That’s exactly how it felt when I found out I was pregnant. I was terrified. I bawled when I told my mum. But the months went by and somewhere around midway through the pregnancy I started really looking forward to it.”
“Congratulations! It’s really overwhelming when you find out, isn’t it? I remember we sat in shock for a few hours, our son was very much welcome but not exactly planned. We too wanted to have grand travel adventures, but instead we accepted that we’d have to put that on hold as life had a different kind of adventure for us. Don’t forget that you can still travel throughout your first and second trimester, have a babymoon before your little one is born.”
Was your pregnancy planned, and how did you react when you first learnt you were pregnant?
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