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"For every stabbing pain during my pregnancy, I'll be grateful."

 In Australia, one in four women has lost a baby.

Today I was busy whining about how sore my lower back was, how much my legs ache and how little sleep I’m getting – you see, I’m 39 weeks pregnant with a 17-month-old who’s been sick and not sleeping, so life isn’t that easy at the moment.

But then I read something that made me stop in my tracks, cry my eyes out and give myself a swift (metaphorical) kick to the head.

A mother had written to me about the loss of her baby boy at just six months gestation. First, she’d lost his twin earlier in the pregnancy, then due to a few serious developmental problems in utero her baby had to be born early even though they knew he wouldn’t make it.

Absolutely heartbreaking.

Every single day, everywhere around the world, expectant mums will feel their baby’s kicks, parents will listen to their newborn’s first cry and families will celebrate the birthday of a healthy baby. But in Australia, one in four women has lost a baby too.

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“Every single day, everywhere around the world, families will celebrate the birthday of a healthy baby.” Image supplied.

This amazing woman had somehow found the strength to talk about her son’s death now, just a few weeks after it had happened, in order to help others who might be going through the same thing. You see, October is SIDS, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. This month parents and families across Australia will honour their babies who passed away from miscarriage, stillbirth or postnatal causes.

To lose a baby is an agonising heartbreak that no one should ever have to go through.

I had no idea what to say to her, except “I’m here”. There are no words that will comfort someone who has lost a child, and nothing you can do to help with the pain.

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I feel so guilty – here I am, lucky enough to have a healthy and strong baby girl growing inside of me, and there she is in the depths of despair.

What we all can do, though, is support the cause and hold these parents in our thoughts.

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“I feel so guilty – here I am, lucky enough to have a healthy and strong baby girl growing inside of me.” Image supplied.

And, as pregnant women, we can appreciate every last second of our own pregnancies.

Here’s my message to my baby girl – I’m so lucky you’re growing big and strong in there. I can’t imagine ever being without you.

For every kick, I will be thankful.

For every stabbing pain, I will smile.

For each painful step as I waddle around picking up after my toddler, I will be appreciative.

For every disgusting pregnancy symptom and sleepless hour, I will remember just how grateful I am.

For every single worry about giving birth, and the early days of being mum to two children under 17 months, I will count my blessings.

And throughout your birth, I will be strong, remembering this amazingly strong woman, her sweet baby boy and all the other parents who have lost a child.

What are you grateful for during your pregnancy?

If you or someone you know have experienced infant loss, you can find resources to help here.

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