Stefania Reynolds is currently 10 weeks pregnant, and like she did for her first pregnancy, the 34-year-old has been telling her inner circle for some time now.
As far as she's concerned, why wouldn't she? For Stefania, the first trimester is hell, and she wants and needs support while she battles the waves of nausea and fatigue.
As Stefania shared with Mamamia, she told her male boss, office manager, colleagues, family and close friends when she was five weeks along.
"I've been thinking about this a lot to be honest with you, and a lot of people don't want to share that they're pregnant in the first trimester - it's quite taboo. I'm just wondering if this is a little old school? I ask people, 'why wouldn't you say it?' and they say 'oh well because you know you've got those risks of losing it'. And then it just makes me question, well aren't we trying to raise awareness about miscarriage as well?" the Sydney based architect told Mamamia's news podcast The Quicky.
Listen to The Quicky unpack the 'three-month rule'. Post continues...
Two weeks after she'd told everyone, Stefania suffered a threatened miscarriage that saw her end up in Emergency. As it was happening, she felt really alienated, blaming herself and her actions for what was happening. But her inner circle, many of whom had suffered miscarriages themselves, were quick to remind her that it was completely normal.
"It was an awful time, and the fact that my boss and colleagues knew was so great because they were so supportive, they just said 'take some rest, do whatever you need to do, your deadlines are covered'. And it just made me be able to relax and take that bed rest that I needed to get back on my feet. And my friends who knew - the love and support I got - one of my friends made me a little care package. She cooked me soup. It was just all that love pouring in," Stefania told The Quicky.
Stefania has been grappling for years with the outdated cultural norm that sees parents wait until the 12 week mark to announce their pregnancy. A milestone that's considered as 'safe.'
As Dr Vicki Woodward, an obstetrician at Melbourne's Royal Women's Hospital told The Quicky, the risk of miscarriage is highest around the 7-10 week mark and lessens as the weeks go on. By the 12-14 week mark, the risk is less than five percent. Many women also choose to have Down syndrome screening around the 10 week mark, receiving their results when they're around 12 weeks.